Ever met a physicist who breaks down emotional wounds with the same clarity he brings to quantum
mechanics? Meet Randy Lyman — a man who blends science, spirituality, and leadership with masterful
ease. In this compelling conversation, Randy shares how success isn’t just about action or mindset, it’s
about emotional mastery.

Chapters:
00:00 – Intro
01:00 – From Left-Brain Physicist to Emotional Intelligence Coach
02:30 – The Leadership Epiphany: Breaking Down in a Workshop
04:00 – Why Emotions Drive Competence and Results
06:00 – Emotional Mastery vs Emotional Intelligence
07:20 – Simple Framework: Problem → Emotion → Resolution
09:00 – The Problem with Corporate Armour & Masking
11:30 – Why Emotional Clarity Inspires Team Performance
12:30 – Advice for Leaders Facing Doubt and Burnout
14:30 – Releasing Emotional Wounds Using Science and Love
17:30 – Why We Keep Attracting the Same “Toxic” Boss
19:00 – How Service-Based Leadership Transforms Culture
22:30 – The Three Universal Human Needs at Work
23:30 – Making Emotional Intelligence a Daily Practice
25:00 – People Drive Numbers, Not the Other Way Around
27:30 – How to Shift Engineers from Logic to Vulnerability
30:00 – How Judging Yourself Attracts Judgment
32:00 – Quantum Physics Meets Leadership Coaching
35:00 – Final Thoughts: You Are Worthy, You Are Enough

Melissa Aarskaug (00:01.838)

Ever met a physicist who can talk quantum mechanics and your emotional baggage in the same breath? Meet Randy Lyman, entrepreneur, investor, Inc 500 alum, and your new favorite leadership coach in today’s Executive Connect podcast, Randy breaks down why mindset alone isn’t enough and how emotional intelligence can actually multiply your business results.

Get ready to rethink success, dig deeper, and learn why feelings might just be your most valuable asset. Welcome, Randy.

Randy Lyman (00:41.154)

Well, hello, Melissa. Thanks for having me on. This is to be fun.

Melissa Aarskaug (00:44.508)

Randy, your journey is anything but conventional. You’re a physicist, a multi-time founder and inventor. What pulled you into this world of emotional intelligence and leadership coaching?

Randy Lyman (01:00.494)

35 years ago at the age of 28, I met a woman who I spent three years with and she was all about spirituality and connection with the unseen and love and just completely different take on life than me who was at the time a completely left brain physicist, mechanical engineer, business person, no emotions, no feelings. And suddenly I met this woman, Maria.

And she took me in whole different direction.

Melissa Aarskaug (01:34.896)

I love it. And as a fellow engineer and similar to Maria and also a person that studied physics, I get what you’re talking about. Was there a specific moment that you can point your finger to when you realize something was missing from the action and mindset formula or was it just kind of just happened for you?

Randy Lyman (01:56.418)

Well, she introduced me to the law of attraction. And so it was all about mindset and visions and thoughts and watching my words and watching my thoughts and all that was helpful. And also, of course, action. Everything fits into three elements or three categories in life, our thoughts and information, our physical body in the physical world, and then our emotions. So again, I was thinking the right things. I was doing the right things.

but I wasn’t aware of the emotional component. So she kind of introduced me to that, but I had an epiphany. And that epiphany was at a leadership communication workshop. The third day, I had a breakthrough to an old emotional wound from many years earlier when somebody said to me, I wish you were more like your friend, John. Well, that took me to…

a deep emotional release and in a room of 15 people, was bawling, I was in tears and feeling all this rush of emotion come through that had been bottled up inside of me. And the exercise, at least the approach I took to this exercise was I had a lot of people in my life who were incompetent and

Through Maria’s guidance, I looked at my thoughts, making sure I was competent, my actions making sure I was competent, but the competence issues got bigger and bigger. Well, once I had this emotional release around wanting to try and be competent to get my family’s approval, when I went back to work four days later, all the people in my life who were acting incompetent suddenly either became competent or they left my life.

And being a scientist, cause and effect, cause and effect. So the cause was I had the huge emotional release and the effect was the issues that were being mirrored to me around my attempting to be competent to get approval. Those issues of competence went away just bam like that. And I made the connection and that helped me start to look at the world and say, wait a minute, it’s not just our thoughts. It’s not just our actions.

Randy Lyman (03:59.98)

The emotional component is hugely important. And so I just started looking at every challenge I had in my life through the lens of, okay, where’s my emotional growth? Where’s my opportunity for emotional healing and change? And since then I’ve had thousands of…

situations that I have not been able to fix with my thoughts and actions alone, when I finally said, okay, I’m gonna look at my emotional challenges and my emotional healing opportunities, then suddenly, just like that, the problems are solved. And I’ve helped many other people through hundreds of similar situations.

Melissa Aarskaug (04:36.486)

That’s fascinating. Now you say that success isn’t just about taking action, but it’s actually about emotional mastery. How do you define emotional intelligence in a way that resonates with high achievers?

Randy Lyman (04:50.072)

Well, I use your words, emotional mastery. So emotional intelligence can mean just being aware of our emotions or suppressing our emotions or pushing our emotions aside. But for me, it goes deeper than that. I believe anytime we have emotions, they are absolutely bigger than time and space. That energy stores within us, within our body or our energy field until we experience that emotion completely. So emotions are valid in the moment. So in the moment, if something

I experience something, my mind makes up a story, my emotional response to the story has moved towards something good or away from something bad. And that emotional guidance is valid in the moment, but once the moment passes, if I only experienced a percentage of that emotional energy because I…

I didn’t want to be too happy when I’m in the middle of a board meeting or my parents said, no, you can’t be too happy. That’s dangerous in whatever form they told us or somebody said, don’t feel that pain because we don’t have the time and space for that. So I hang onto that emotional energy. It stores like gasoline in a metal can and it’s bigger than time and space. it has to, in order to be released, I have to experience that completely through a bodily

experience. I can’t do it through my mind. And I know I’m adding a lot of complicated things here, but the point is the emotions that we don’t feel completely will stay with us until we feel them. So what happens in a business leadership situation? If I’m walking into a room where I’m leading people and I have worries or doubts or any feelings or emotions from past emotional wounds that I haven’t released, that energy is still

residing within me and if it’s near the surface and I walk into a room the people in that room whether they’re people in the shipping department or in a boardroom they feel my worry they feel my tension they feel those things and my ego is trying to avoid those so my ego’s my mind is confused and trying to push that down the emotions are still spilling out into the room and I can’t be the most effective leader that I can be if I’m emotionally clear

Melissa Aarskaug (07:02.286)

I love that. So now are there specific steps? Can you walk us through those steps? Actually, let me reframe that. Let me just ask the question. Give me the steps on how you help people build those skills to deal with their emotions.

Randy Lyman (07:19.438)

Everybody has a different way of getting in touch with their emotional wounds and releasing them and that’s fine. In my book, which I hope I can make a plug for my book here, The Third Element, in my book, The Third Element, in chapter seven, I go over 14 different exercises and modalities that work for releasing. But usually with leaders I start with, let’s write down a list of the problems, the physical real life problems in our life, whether it’s at work as a leader or whether it’s at home.

And then for each problem, after you write them all out, and there’s between five and maybe 20, and then my mind says, there’s only 20, I can do 20, but my imagination wants to make the problem bigger than it is. So I write out all the problems. Then next to that, next column over, however you want to do it, free form, what is the solution that I think I can apply from my mind, from a mental perspective and a physical perspective?

And that’s helpful. Sometimes I just solve it that way. But usually there’s a deeper issue, which is how do I feel about this problem? How am I being irritated? What emotions are coming up? What feelings are coming up? What blame is coming up? Now for me, that’s where the real power is because now that I’ve identified the emotion or at least acknowledged there’s an emotion behind the logical problem.

Now I can find a modality that works for me to deal with the emotional issue. And it can be as simple as a breathing exercise. It can be more journaling. It can be EFT tapping. It can be walking in nature. It can be gratitude for the other things in life that work. the whole plan is to have my mind involved in a process that gets me in touch with my physical, my feelings through my physical body. Then I can work through it. Now I do this work.

Aside from being at work, I do it in a personal space. If I can do a breathing exercise at work and work through that, do. But again, journaling, what is the problem? Are there solutions? What are the underlying feelings? And then a simple exercise, if possible, simple, sometimes more complicated, to get through the emotional baggage underneath that exterior problem.

Melissa Aarskaug (09:30.682)

Yeah, and I love what you said. think it’s bringing those things to the surface and really putting them down on paper and thinking through it so we can attack them. Because I find in the corporate world that a lot of times people put on, I’m just going to call it their armor, and they come to work and they push down their emotions and they just move on with the next day. And before long, we carry all of this with us, like you were saying. And so I love.

the idea of writing it down and figuring out how many things am I really working with. I think the simple act of that is really a big step.

Randy Lyman (10:10.35)

And so the armor that we put on or the mask that we wear, if you take a snapshot in time or a video, yeah, that kind of works. But if we’re dealing with people, they feel what’s behind the armor. They feel what’s underneath the mask and that creeps into our mind. And now we’re focused on defending ourselves and trying to keep up the mask. And we’re not focused on.

how we can connect with the people that we’re working with. And a lot of leaders are gonna say, connect, why do I wanna connect with the people I’m working with? That’s scary. So for me, I was worried when I first started doing this in the work environment, I was afraid people wouldn’t respect me. Turns out the opposite is true when I can show up calm and confident because I’ve worked through my own emotional issues or at least I’ve identified them with my mind. And I said, I’m gonna consciously deliberately put those aside for the moment.

Now they’re not creeping into my interaction and I show up and I’m able to be authentic. I can admit my mistakes. I can ask for help. And people say, wow, this guy is being authentic and he’s still calm. He must really be strong. They feel safe and they show up authentic. And now we’ve got a team of people who are authentic and who want to work together. And then the results just multiplies and we accomplish so much more when we can show up that way.

Melissa Aarskaug (11:36.474)

Yeah, spot on. think people can sense like when people are putting on a show or pretending to be somebody they’re not or and I love that you said that I want to jump a little bit into your background. Now you’ve led and scaled companies through high stakes, high pressure environments. What advice would you give leaders who hit internal walls of doubt, fear, they’re overwhelmed, especially in high stakes situations?

Randy Lyman (12:05.186)

We don’t have to be perfect. We are human. And I’ve learned what I’ve learned through being willing to make mistakes over and over again, many, many mistakes. I’ve asked for help. I’ve learned what I’ve learned from the wonderful people I’ve worked with.

from mentors and mostly from the people I work with. say, hey, you know this better than me. whether it be accounting or statistical approach for quality control and all those things, I’ve learned that from other people. And I’ve also learned from the people who are better at me at the time than interacting with other people. How can I show up and be a better leader? Now they work for me, but I don’t care.

What do I care? My power in position of leadership doesn’t come from my authority. It doesn’t come from my title. It comes from my ability to help other people feel safe and know that I’m there to help them succeed. And when they know I’m there to help them succeed and they feel that, then they’re going to help me and the group succeed. So I learned these things through being willing to fail, being willing to admit to my mistakes and being willing to learn from others. Curiosity.

It’s not about being right. People don’t want me to be right. They want to be right. They want me to help them find ways to be right. And then they’re on board. So it comes to putting my ego aside and not needing to be perfect and being and that’s what we are as humans. We’re never perfect. Yeah, we get to a level of perfection in a certain area, but the business is about

Successful businesses are about do the teams and the people I work with believe and truly feel I support them then they’re on board and do the customers I serve feel feel is a key word do they feel that I’m gonna stand behind my services and stand behind my products and truly deliver value and when they feel that based on my actions that back up my words then I have a successful business.

Randy Lyman (14:03.254)

The customers decide if we’re successful or not as a business is not up to us. We can think we’re doing a great job, but if the customers don’t feel it, if our team members don’t feel it, we’re not going to succeed. Ideas are not what create success. Delivering products and delivering and creating an environment for success. That’s what matters.

Melissa Aarskaug (14:26.052)

Yeah, I love it. I totally agree. I know me personally, Randy, I’ve stood in my own way in high stakes environments through resistance, doubt, uncertainty. Is there a way that you teach leaders how to get out of their own way so they can accomplish all that they need to in their personal lives or professional lives?

Randy Lyman (14:50.124)

The way for us to show up more clear is to be willing to address the internal pains. Open Pandora’s box of emotions, deal with the positive, deal with that we’ve denied, deal with the negatives we denied. And people think, well, God, if I open that box, I’m going to be stuck in anger or frustration or disappointment forever. And the opposite is true. If we avoid it, it’s bigger than time and space, and it will always influence our reality.

But if we take the time to address our emotional wounds, we only have to feel them once. And some things are like an onion, you gotta peel the layer and feel it two or three or five times. But the more that we feel our old wounds, that energy is released and gets out of our way. So it’s like thermodynamics in science. The first law of thermodynamics is energy is neither created nor destroyed. So we have an emotional response.

Our mind creates a story, our emotions create the energy, and if we don’t act on that energy, that energy is stored. But if we find a way to go back in time, so to speak, in the present moment, that’s a dichotomy I know, but if we can be present in the moment and find a way to churn up those old emotional wounds, then as we feel them through a physical body experience, whether it’s just I feel them in my body, in my gut, in my heart, or whether I cry the tears, which as a man I do,

then that energy is turned into heat and it’s gone. It’s out of our field. That energy of that information of the emotional wound is turned into heat and released. So we have to find ways to release the negative. Now, the beautiful part is when we release the negative energy, love replaces that immediately. And that’s what helped me in…

experiencing the bigger wounds I needed to experience as I did that a few times, then I felt that love energy replace the anger, the disappointment, the feeling alone or the sadness. And when those negative energies were released, the love replaced it. Now we’re more clear and we can show up without baggage.

Melissa Aarskaug (16:54.65)

I love it. I had a mentee that phoned me earlier this week and she said, Melissa, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong in my career. Every single manager I’ve had is a difficult manager to deal with. And she’s changed like seven jobs over the last 10 years. And she keeps telling me, she’s like, how am I ending up with the same personality, the same difficult manager?

He works me harder than everybody else. He has separate expectations and I can never keep them happy. So she ends up staying for a year and leaving for another position. What would you tell somebody that’s jumping from job to job because every single person that she’s reporting to is difficult and not a supportive collaborative boss?

Randy Lyman (17:48.104)

It is the law of attraction giving her the gift, and yes, I use the word gift, the gift of an indication where there’s an opportunity for healing. Now, without some guidance, it’s really difficult to understand all that. And again, I’m making a plug for my book, The Third Element. I explain how the law of attraction co-creates our reality for us every moment of every day.

Nothing’s random. It’s based on our thoughts, based on our actions, and based on the emotions that emotional energy stored within us that God who loves us wants us to release those old emotional pains. And so your friend, your mentee, God says, I want you to really feel this at the deepest level so you can release it. But

Our mind, our human ego, which we need, we don’t want to kill the ego, we want to partner with our higher self and partner with the child self, but our ego’s job is to protect us from pain, including emotional wounds. So when she can find a modality, an exercise that helps her get in touch with those old emotional wounds and feel it, and again, I’m going to say it, cry the tears and release those wounds from when she was six years old or 16 or whatever it was, then the law of attraction is no longer obligated to bring her reminders.

Melissa Aarskaug (19:01.478)

Well said. culture has been the buzzword a lot lately in corporate America. And I know a lot of companies are trying to build these cultures that don’t just thrive, they survive. And I know you talk a lot about service-based leadership. What does that actually look like in a company culture?

Randy Lyman (19:24.622)

It starts at the top, whether it’s the board that runs a huge corporation, and then it filters to the CEO or the owner, whoever that is. If the leader cannot show up authentically and they have an armor around them, and everybody else feels and believes they have to have an armor and they operate that way, so when leadership…

can work through their own emotional issues, their own emotional baggage and show up more clear and more confident and calm without the need for control. Now they’re gonna work with, again, calm, confidence, collaboration.

And when they can create that environment where people are free to make mistakes, people are free to disagree, and disagreement is encouraged. If you study Alan Mulally, who ran Boeing for a while and then turned around Ford many years ago, Alan Mulally was all about, hey, let’s disagree openly and figure out a way through this. Let’s not hide the truth. Let’s embrace the truth. Now,

If the leader is not centered within themselves, if they have emotional baggage, they’re not gonna be able to do this. They’re not gonna be comfortable doing this. But if the leader says, I’m gonna work on myself, I’m gonna acknowledge, here’s a big one, I’m gonna acknowledge the problems within my business, the relationship problems, the people problems, are all a reflection of me. Now that’s a really tough pill to swallow. And even when I was quite a ways down that road.

In about 1998, I had an intervention. Three people I worked with intervened and said, Randy, you’re too stressed. And we know you know what works and we know your beliefs are right, but your actions are not right right now. You need to work through your own issues at a deeper level in order to be effective. And I was like, man, this hurts. I went home and I talked to my wife and she said, yeah, they’re right. You have to look at yourself. You have to work through your own issues.

Randy Lyman (21:13.174)

Then when you work through your own issues, you can create the culture that you want to create. Now I learned some things through that introspective. First, I had more issues to work through personally, and I always put my hand on my heart because it’s got to come through. It’s all feelings. So I did that. I worked on my own issues and I made it some big healing issues. And then I started to build a culture based on three things.

And the culture is based on what everybody needs more than they need the money. They need to be acknowledged for who they are as an individual. So when I interact with people and I get to know them on a more personal basis, it doesn’t have to be deep.

I acknowledge them for their unique contribution. I found out a little bit about them or their family, whatever they’re willing to share without probing. And then when I talk to them again, whether it’s three days later or three weeks later, I ask, hey, how’s your kid doing in soccer? Or your daughter’s going to graduate? Or you have that project you’re working on with your father. Now suddenly I recognize them as an individual. So they feel acknowledged. That’s big. The second one is people need to feel like they’re contributing to the cause. And the reason they need that is because

If their life doesn’t really have that much purpose outside of work, if they feel like they’re really contributing at work, it gives their life meaning and people need that. And then the third thing is they need to feel like they belong to the group. They they belong to the group in a way that feels like family. And that gives them a sense of safety because it makes them important and…

So I learned, I identified these three things. I learned how to change my behavior, to acknowledge, make them feel like they’re contributing, help them feel like they’re contributing and help them feel like they belong. Then I built a culture on that and then the business took off.

Melissa Aarskaug (22:54.972)

That’s great. Now, how can leaders, people who are leading people, create environments where emotional intelligence and purpose aren’t actually just buzzwords, they’re actually regular daily practices?

Randy Lyman (23:09.59)

As a leader, I have to learn to listen and not just ping pong back and forth, not just mirror the last three words back, but give a huge pause, as you would say, pregnant pause, and let people speak more if they want to. And if I have a feeling or their facial expressions show me, or their body language shows me they have more to say, then I don’t respond. I ask them, what else do you think? What are you feeling? What else is there? If they don’t empty their cup, if they don’t express everything they want to express,

They’re hanging on to that so that when they get an opportunity to speak again, they can speak more and they don’t listen to me because they’re hanging on to those ideas. And so when I give them the space to express and I hear them, then they’re ready to hear me. And listening at that deeper level, it takes time and most people, I don’t have the time to wait. Well.

We don’t have the time to tell people twice. We don’t have the time to try to get people on board by manipulating them. It’s so much easier to get them on board by them truly feeling that we care about them. So it’s investment in time and listening.

Group problem solving is something that I was afraid of at first. Well, what if the group comes up with a dumb decision? Well, first of all, if they do, I can guide them to a better decision by asking questions, not by offering advice, but by asking questions. And if their decision is only 60 % as good as mine, they own it 100%. And they wanna make that idea, their plan succeed.

So I have to be willing and vulnerable and let them come up with their own ideas. And I can always guide them and I can override them if I have to, but let them come up with their own ideas through group problem solving. And then they can ask me questions or I can ask them questions. How’s this going? Have you tried this or that? Now they take ownership in the solution. 100 % ownership. If it’s my idea and it’s perfect and they fail, it’s still my fault. If it’s their idea and it’s not perfect and they fail, they’re going to ask for help.

Randy Lyman (25:10.574)

You’re gonna be open to getting help for a better solution. Now this is a huge investment in time, but once they learn they can solve problems themselves, they start doing that.

Melissa Aarskaug (25:21.532)

Now, most leaders don’t put emotional intelligence and emotional healing on their business strategy, but maybe they should from what I’m hearing you say. So can you explain, maybe unpack it a little bit more on how doing the inner work can actually lead to outer explosive results for companies and organizations?

Randy Lyman (25:45.134)

So as a leader, that means we’re leading other people and we’re not doing all the work. That’s obvious, but I’m gonna go through the logic of it. So our effectiveness as a leader comes down to the effectiveness of the people we lead. So that’s partially based on our plan and the plan we come up with together, but it’s also extremely based on how well people buy into our plan and how much they want the organization to succeed.

Now the numbers are most important, but the people drive the numbers. You can’t drive numbers without people. And when people are acknowledged for who they are, they feel like they’re contributing and they feel like they belong and they’re getting acknowledgement through public praise. I’m taking responsibility for any mistake publicly. take as a leader, I take responsibility for all the mistakes.

Even if it’s not my fault, that gives them a sense of safety and they’re willing to risk and try more things that they might not have tried in a safe space. So I, as the leader, I motivate my people through an authentic connection. My people then drive the agenda and the plans and that creates the numbers and that creates the success. So if I just look at the numbers, people aren’t going to do what they need to do unless they want to do it.

Melissa Aarskaug (27:07.964)

So is there a certain process you guide organizations through to, because you and I are both engineer minded people, science people, we’re not that, those kind of people, I’m just gonna say it like it is. So a lot of times the touchy feely, the softer side, being vulnerable, talking about things, we’re more doers, analytical minded. So when you like,

Randy Lyman (27:24.376)

I’m

Melissa Aarskaug (27:36.198)

putting on the hat of working with fellow engineers and physics people, how do you guide them through that process of switching hats, if you will, from that left brain to right brain or right brain to left brain?

Randy Lyman (27:54.638)

Start at home with your domestic partner.

tell them this is what I’m going to try and I may make mistakes, but please allow me the space to make mistakes. Well, our domestic partner already judges us. They already know who we are. They already see our faults. Now we’re going to have a better connection with our domestic partner when we are vulnerable. So when I’m open with my wife about my challenges, then she accepts me better. And that’s a great place to practice. I can say, God, I don’t know if I want to say this because it might not go over well. Well, try that in a place where you’re

truly safe. Hopefully you’re truly safe in your personal relationship if you’re not finding another personal relationship. But that’s where I started was there at home and then okay I found somebody who I worked with who I trusted and they trusted me and I said I’d like to take a different approach to this. I’m gonna be honest with you about my doubts of myself. You don’t want to be honest with the other person about your doubts about them unless you have to. But these are where my doubts are. These are my worries are. These are where my concerns are and can you help me?

So now I found a safe person at work who I can test this with. Then when I get some good results, I’m going to make some mistakes along the way. Now I can take what I’ve learned with this partner I’ve chosen.

And then I can expand it to a larger group, whether it’s a larger group of leaders, whether it’s the team that this leader within my group, I’ve shared my approach with, hey, can we try this with your group? So if I’m working with quality control or shipping or sales, and I work with that manager and it’s work, said, I’d to try this now with your group. So we experiment with one person and then a little bit bigger group. We make some mistakes, but we’re going to find successes. And in doing that,

Randy Lyman (29:41.616)

it gives us the safety to try it more often.

Melissa Aarskaug (29:48.166)

that’s such good advice. Practicing in a safe environment where if you make a mistake, you have somebody that’s going to help you, as I call it, get back on that yellow brick road. And I think that’s such fantastic advice because the more that we do it, the more that it’s just natural. And the more it’s just natural, the more people show up in reciprocation of us being authentic, we bring in more authentic relationships. And like you said at the beginning,

All the, I’m just gonna call it riff-raff, all the riff-raff stays away and you bring forward abundance.

Randy Lyman (30:23.98)

And another thing that I realized is people only judge me when I judge myself. Now that can be at a subconscious level, I’m judging myself. But when I was aware of people judging me, then I said, okay, how am I judging myself? So outside awareness of the outside first. Then I turned to how’s this a reflection of me? Then I worked through my emotional issues around being judged or judging myself or other people judging me. I worked through that emotional wounds.

Now when I show up and I have no judgment, I can talk to anybody about anything and they don’t judge me because law of attraction is not asking them to judge me. Law of attraction is not obligated to bring up an outside judgment to remind me of an internal judgment, if that makes sense.

Melissa Aarskaug (31:11.92)

Yeah, so essentially you’re working through why you’re so judgmental of yourself. Therefore, people that interact with you aren’t judging you is what I’m hearing.

Randy Lyman (31:22.254)

energetically, law of attraction, they’re not attracted to judge us. We don’t need that lesson. And so part of it is, yes, in our minds also, we don’t want to be judgmental, but more importantly, any emotional wounds around it. Now I talk again about emotional wounds and people are like, you’re a scientist, what are you talking about, emotions? So in my book, I clearly explain how our life is not random. There’s only two rules in life.

that God has for us. There’s only two. The first one is when we respond from a place of love and with the intent of a positive outcome, we can find a long lasting solution. If we respond from fear or anger or doubt, we’re not gonna find a long lasting solution. So love is the answer. That’s the first rule. The second rule, and what goes with this is God doesn’t judge us. God doesn’t have expectations. What we’re given is a tool, a servant.

of the law of attraction. And the law of attraction responds to our thoughts, responds to our actions, and responds to our emotions, both present emotions, emotions, and emotional energy that’s stored. And that’s it. And so every moment of every day, and this goes, and explained in the book, it goes all the way down to the subatomic level related to Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle and the two slit theory, two slit experiment. Reality and energy,

Okay, reality doesn’t exist until we interact with the energy. So when we have thoughts, we have actions, we have emotions, our physical reality is created for us in the moment and there are infinite possibilities. But the possibility, the possible future we walk into is based on what the law of attraction creates in response to what we need. And…

And so this is, for me, it’s science. And it goes down to something that in 1957, I think Hugh Everett talked about this in one of his papers. And so, yeah, it seems like it’s all abstract, but when we look at the uncertainty principle and how energy is turned into matter as it’s observed and as we call on it to play a part for us,

Randy Lyman (33:39.682)

and we look at it from that scientific perspective, then the law of attraction makes perfect sense.

Melissa Aarskaug (33:45.764)

Yeah, and I love that. think too, the same things keep showing up in your life, unless we’re dealing with, like you mentioned at the beginning, the emotions, what are we thinking about? What are we feeling about? What do we need to address? So we’re not getting, you know, the same bad relationship or the same bad job or the same whatever we need to, as you mentioned in the beginning, go through and write all those things down, figure out the emotion that’s attached to it, work through those emotions and

put forward love into the world and expect love and others and other experiences and therefore you will receive those things back.

Randy Lyman (34:24.6)

So you explained it perfectly and in explanation it’s simple. In practice, it’s not easy, but that’s life. What in life is really easy and what worth going after is ever easy. But I can tell you for sure, the rewards are huge.

My life has improved in my relationships, in my physical health, and absolutely in my financial success has been based on my willingness to deal with my own emotions and to approach the people in my life and see the divine beauty within everybody, including the people who lie, cheat, steal, and attack me. And when I see it all as a gift and a lesson, then I can find the lesson and I can find the gift and I live my life completely differently.

Melissa Aarskaug (35:07.706)

And I love that you share that because I do also agree. I think you can have an abundant life and all the things that you hope and dream and wish for. We just have to do work on ourselves and point ourselves in the right direction and therefore bringing bringing forward all that we do want. I want to get any final thoughts or any nuggets of wisdom Randy you want to listen with our listeners that we didn’t touch on today.

Randy Lyman (35:36.16)

Absolutely. Every one of us is a spiritual being, a beautiful spiritual being on a human path. I’m a big believer in multiple lifetimes and some people are just more advanced than others. There’s people here much more advanced than me from because of more lifetimes, but we’re all beautiful internally, inside. We’re all deserving and we all have the opportunity to find success at a deeper level than we are now. And we’re all, again, deserving.

We’re taught we’re not deserving and that’s not true. That’s BS. So put aside your judgment, suspend your doubts and just say, wow, maybe I am a spiritual being. Maybe I am deserving of more and I’m willing to ask for help from something bigger than me. And when we do that, the answers are shown to us. And when we do that, it’s a challenge to go through emotionally for people who believe they’re not deserving, but you will be shown.

more beautiful parts of yourself that are truly a part of who you are at the deepest level. And that’s what we’re here to experience. And that’s what we’re here to experience in our relationships with everybody else.

Melissa Aarskaug (36:46.108)

I love that. So well said. Now, Randy, tell our listeners a little bit about how they connect with you and what’s the best way to find your book.

Randy Lyman (36:58.936)

So the best way to find my book is on a major bookseller. I won’t say who because some platforms don’t allow that, but through my website, randyliman.com, they will find links to the book.

that will find links to workbooks and tapping exercises and a lot of things I share for free. They can click on the how-to and see some of the practitioners I work with personally today. They can click on the books section and see the books that have been effective for me. And they can follow me on social media through randylimon.com.

Melissa Aarskaug (37:35.472)

Randy, this has been such an incredible conversation. Emotional intelligence often gets treated like a soft skill, but today you have absolutely showed us that it’s a power skill. Thank you so much for being here. I know this is going to be a game changer for our listeners. That’s the Executive Connect podcast.

Randy Lyman (37:57.848)

Well, you’re welcome, Melissa. Thanks for having me on. Your questions are wonderful and I absolutely love the work that you’re doing and people should continue to listen to your work ongoing.

Melissa Aarskaug (38:07.43)

Thank you so much, Randy.