In this episode of Executive Connect, Melissa Aarskaug sits down with LuRae Lumpkin to talk about the real risk hiding inside “stable” work. LuRae shares why so many professionals stay stuck in jobs they have outgrown, how AI and layoffs are quietly changing the workforce, and what it takes to start building income and freedom on your own terms. She also opens up about leaving corporate life, designing a lifestyle-first business, setting better boundaries, and doing the inner work that helps people stop shrinking their own future.

This episode is for professionals, founders, and anyone rethinking what security, freedom, and work should look like now. Press play before comfort convinces you to stay somewhere you have already outgrown.

Chapters:
(0:00) Self-care, self-love, and empty cups
(0:24) The hidden risk of one paycheck
(2:40) What the workforce is not seeing
(7:22) The moment she knew to leave
(11:20) Where to start when you feel stuck
(16:04) Building a lifestyle-first business
(21:40) How to grow without burning out
(29:29) Boundaries, alignment, and saying no
(36:16) The people around you matter
(41:01) Why inner work changes everything

LuRae

(0:00) We can’t give from an empty cup. (0:02) Like if somebody else is wanting something from you and your cup is empty, you have nothing to pour from. (0:09) It’s self-love.

(0:10) Self-care is really self-love. (0:13) And unless we are giving to ourselves, we have nothing to give to someone else. (0:18) We’re mirrors of one another and, you know, we reflect back to that other person, whatever is going on within them.

Melissa

(0:24) Most people don’t stay and they’re 9 to 5 because they’re comfortable. (0:28) They stay because they’re unsure, unsure what they do, unsure if they could replace their income, unsure of even where to start. (0:39) Today’s guest has made her mission to change that.

(0:43) LeRae Lumpkin went from leading global teams across a hundred countries to helping professionals build independent businesses and income and designing a life that actually makes you want to wake up to it. (1:00) This conversation isn’t about quitting your job tomorrow. (1:03) It’s about understanding where your real leverage is and how to start building freedom on your terms.

(1:10) Welcome to Executive Connect, LeRae.

LuRae

(1:14) Thank you. (1:14) Thank you so much.

Melissa

(1:16) I want to talk about this idea of the hidden risk of a stable job. (1:21) I know I’ve always been someone who used to think of that myself and I know you’ve said the riskiest strategy today. (1:30) Is it replacing your single paycheck?

(1:34) It’s relying on that single paycheck too much. (1:39) Why do so many people still believe the opposite?

LuRae

(1:42) I think people have a natural tendency to keep their heads down and the way life is structured. (1:49) It’s so busy. (1:51) People are busy taking care of kids, getting to work, making sure everything is done, the laundry, the food is purchased and the thought of adding one more thing onto their plate to have to look up and say, what else would I do if I didn’t do this routine that I’m in?

(2:09) If I didn’t do this job, if I didn’t follow this path, what would I do? (2:15) It’s just too much for people. (2:17) Unfortunately, that is a very narrow view of the world that people, even though it’s uncomfortable, they really need to start opening their eyes a little bit because there’s a tsunami coming whether they’re aware of it or not.

Melissa

(2:32) And I was just about to ask you that question. (2:35) What has changed in the workforce that most people haven’t caught on to yet?

LuRae

(2:40) Yeah, I think if we look at the number, there are 2 million jobs in the U.S. alone that have gone away since 2024. (2:50) And the layoffs are continuing to come. (2:52) I just saw an article in Business Insider where Meta and another company, they’re changing the titles of what they’re calling the roles.

(3:01) And while AI obviously is the elephant in the room and people are honestly training AI, the more they get up to speed, they’re training AI to take their job, basically. (3:17) And so I actually just went through the exercise of working with AI to predict what are the new roles that are going to come out in the future. (3:26) There’s like 97 million new roles that will be created because AI is completely changing the workforce.

(3:34) And I think you couple that with the fact that people are, they’re burned out. (3:40) They’re tired of being, I think, you know, disrespected in some cases, being in work environments that aren’t conducive to their growth or in toxic work environments. (3:50) I’ve never seen LinkedIn so barraged with people talking about it.

(3:55) I think it’s great because people aren’t hiding the fact (3:59) that a lot of these work environments, (4:00) I would now say that I’ve been out for 10 years, (4:04) human resources, you think about that, (4:07) like gold as a resource or silver as a resource, (4:10) but a human as a resource, (4:11) like all of the vernacular, (4:13) I kept my last employee review just so I could see the, (4:17) I’d say the craziness of the words that we use (4:20) in even performance reviews, (4:22) like performance is like you go to a circus (4:24) or you go to a performer, like a musician, (4:28) but it’s like, did you meet my expectations (4:30) or were you below my expectations? (4:32) I mean, even that is so condescending to us as a human being.

Melissa

(4:48) Yeah, I would agree with that. (4:53) I find that really funny that you should bring that up. (4:56) I laugh, I had reported to somebody who didn’t like to give exceeds his expectations and he did it across the board for all of his staff.

(5:08) And so you were really never able to exceed his expectations. (5:12) But when you look at it from an HR desk, if you’re not exceeding expectations, you’re not getting pay raises. (5:18) So it is actually kind of offensive that, and I would agree with you.

(5:23) And so what signals should people watch for inside of their current roles and maybe how should people rethink this risk of a potential loss of their career?

LuRae

(5:37) Yeah, well, I think that the one exclamation point on all of this is, I wrote about this yesterday actually, that employers will, well, back up, an employee will give two weeks notice. (5:50) An employer has been known to let people go or lay them off or announce a restructure, today’s your last day, via text, via Zoom, via email, a pop-up invite from HR on your calendar, that’s like a red flag, oh, something’s coming down the pike. (6:10) Sometimes companies, they’re legally required to give notice if it affects a significant number of amount of the number of people in the workforce on their staff.

(6:21) But they’re smart also in that they will break up the layoffs into smaller numbers and do it in waves. (6:30) That way there’s no public announcement of it, yet 30,000 people just lost their job, for example. (6:36) And it happened over a series of six months.

(6:40) So it was not something that raised a flag, with any kind of announcement to whatever governmental agency they need to, to make an announcement.

Melissa

(6:49) Yeah, and it’s so true. (6:52) I didn’t think of it that way, because a lot of times I know the actual number for these layoffs, because I have like this plus this plus this equals the total number. (7:01) And it’s so spot on that we don’t often think of that.

(7:05) And so I want to talk a little bit about your career and maybe the moment that changed everything for you. (7:12) You’ve had a very successful corporate career. (7:15) What made you kind of do that introspective work and step back and realize that you wanted something completely different?

LuRae

(7:22) Oh my gosh, you know, I think when I first, the first time I stepped out, I mean, I had worked my way up to the VP of Marketing for the small business division in the telecom industry, which was what I aspired to be a VP of Marketing when I graduated from college. (7:38) And I got there and was so, I guess, unenamored by what that role really was. (7:44) And I remember vividly sitting in my office working on salary treatment for people and realizing that I wanted to give some of the directors like 10% bumps in salary because they had done such an amazing job, in my view, you know, of that.

(8:04) And someone, I remember someone knocking on the door, coming in and saying, oh, by the way, you have 3% that has to go across the team. (8:11) So I’m like, okay, that means some people get, if I want to give 10%, that means somebody else gets nothing. (8:16) And I still am not getting, you know, had the ability to give 10%.

(8:21) So that was kind of a wake up call at that point. (8:25) So I remember I had planned, I was a single mom at that point with two young daughters and a mortgage. (8:32) And I had elderly parents that I was also helping care for.

(8:36) So I was like a sandwich, you know, child, mother. (8:41) And so I planned for about six years to make my exit. (8:45) I was like a senior manager at the time.

(8:47) I really knew I wanted to get out of the work I was in because I was getting siloed. (8:54) And it really wasn’t something I saw myself doing for the long term, even though back at that point in time, you could get early retirement. (9:03) If you’d been with a company and was there almost 16 years, I was close enough that I would have qualified because I had just started right out of college.

(9:12) So, you know, that was kind of a turning point of, oh, this is not at all what I thought it was going to be. (9:19) So that’s the first time I went out on my own and I kind of went in and out of corporate roles. (9:25) I wound up at the very end of the time I was in my corporate journey.

(9:31) I wound up in New York City working for the largest media buying agency. (9:36) And I literally had like a mini health scare. (9:40) I got sick.

(9:41) I had a, and it wasn’t really a sickness, but I got a cut on my wrist that traveled from my hand to my wrist and I wound up going out on short-term disability and had to have wrist surgery because the antibiotics they gave me caused tendon tear. (9:56) So an antibiotic dose of antibiotics wound up throwing me out to the point that I was on the phone with a therapist in the parking lot of a Whole Foods talking about, well, I’m going back to New York because I had left New York to be by my daughters while I had wrist surgery. (10:15) And I said, well, I’m going to go back and interview with the other big three because I was with the largest media buying firm in the world, right, in New York City.

(10:21) And she said, slow down. (10:24) She said, take your time. (10:26) You weren’t happy when we first met each other back in January and I had then moved back to New York the second time.

(10:34) So that was kind of the final, I would say the final straw, the final window of time where I really stepped back and said, you know, what do I really want to be doing? (10:44) And I didn’t have it all figured out. (10:46) I just knew I couldn’t do that anymore.

Melissa

(10:48) And I think there’s so much to take away from that. (10:52) First of all, taking that step and choosing you is, you know, there’s a lot of fears that come up for people when they kind of take a step back, leave their corporate career. (11:03) And so what advice would you give someone that’s kind of in this same moment in deciding, do I stay at the company?

(11:11) Do I leave the company? (11:13) And they’re caught up in all this fear and can I do it? (11:17) Can I make it?

(11:18) Will I afford my bills? (11:19) What would you tell them?

LuRae

(11:20) Yeah, I would say, you know, and I’ve put a bunch of things together now that are like free things for people to use as kind of a guide to ask the right questions. (11:30) So, you know, first it’s just asking yourself, what do I really want to be doing? (11:36) Like if I weren’t to, you know, if I wasn’t, weren’t going to be paid for something and I just get lost in it because I love it that much, that’s probably a sign that there’s something there either even as a hobby, something that can like divert some of the stress you’re dealing with with your current job while you’re figuring out what you want to do.

(11:56) But start now. (11:57) Start while you’re still in the role. (12:00) Get a side hustle started.

(12:01) Like start looking at, you know, what you like to do, what people would pay you for. (12:07) What do people come for advice to you for? (12:10) Like, you know, those are indicators of areas that you could turn that into something that people will pay you for.

(12:18) I’ll say the one thing people underestimate, we have so many skills and so many things we know how to do that we assume, oh, everybody knows how to do that. (12:28) And everybody doesn’t know how to do that. (12:31) So whether it’s someone who’s a great project manager who’s also great at organizing, maybe they become, you know, like an organizer, like a feng shui closet organizer.

(12:43) People will pay money for people to come in and organize their homes, organize things for them. (12:50) But that’s just a mini example. (12:52) You know, it could be someone who loves writing and they’re spending more of their time like in meetings and doing things that isn’t really what they love to do.

(13:01) So there are a lot of things that people just step back and look at. (13:03) What do I really love to do? (13:06) Because a lot of times people will get started down a path in their career doing something because mom and dad wanted them to do it.

(13:16) It was pressure from their friends. (13:20) And once, just the reality is the inertia of the way this world is set up. (13:24) Once you get down a path and you’ve gone to school and you’re in a job, you’re on this, I call it the conveyor belt of life.

(13:32) And so to get off that conveyor belt, we have to interject something new into the flow and give yourself permission to look. (13:43) I had a good friend in New York who used to say to me when I would get, you know, because I went through my own anxiousness when I had made the decision to step out. (13:52) He said, oh, you can always go back and, you know, get another, and he was like, you know, go back in the ad industry and get another job.

(13:58) And I said, don’t even leave that option. (14:00) Don’t even say that because I don’t want that to even be in my periphery as an option. (14:07) I stepped out.

(14:09) I’m done. (14:09) So I’m going to figure this out, you know, one way or the other. (14:12) I will figure this out.

Melissa

(14:14) Money Ripples is on a mission to help professionals like you get their money working harder. (14:20) Their clients free up an average of $35,000 their first year without having to work extra hours to show you how they’ve put together a powerful training called Cashflow Secrets and as a listener of the Executive Connect podcast, you can get it completely free. (14:40) Just visit moneyripples.com forward slash secrets and enter the promo code EXEC. (14:50) Yeah, it is so true. (14:52) I think I hear this. (14:54) I’ve spoke hundreds of times in front of, you know, younger, you know, generations and mentored younger, you know, younger leaders.

(15:03) And one of the things I say when you go from career to career, job to job, you don’t leave those skill sets with your employer. (15:10) You take them with you and you take, you know, you’re a good organizer. (15:14) You’re a good traveler.

(15:16) You’re a good juggler. (15:18) Those are really important skills and it’s funny because I took it for granted myself. (15:24) I was a professional traveler.

(15:26) And what I realized was so intuitive for me, took me no time to really plan was just a lot to do for some other people that never travel for a living. (15:39) And so you’re so true. (15:42) So for someone that’s kind of struggling right now or they feel like stuck and, you know, kind of struck in this analysis paralysis place, where should they begin?

(15:54) So like you said, they should write down kind of, I’m a good organizer. (15:58) I’m good at these and really getting a list of things they enjoy doing. (16:02) Is that your kind of step one?

LuRae

(16:04) Yeah, and I think if someone is really thinking about I’m going to step out because I’m just tired of working for other people. (16:12) I want more freedom. (16:13) I want more autonomy.

(16:15) I want to remove that income cap. (16:17) I mean people don’t realize when and I’m going to answer your question, but I’m going to touch on this while we’re here. (16:23) When you step out and are self-employed, you pay yourself first, subtract like, you know, subtract all your business expenses and then you pay taxes on what’s left over.

(16:34) When you’re an employee, it’s the opposite. (16:36) They take everything out and you’re left with whatever’s left and then you go at the end of the year and kind of fight back to get a return back from money. (16:46) They already took that probably shouldn’t have been taken because it was too much or whatever, but you don’t get to write things off that you can when you’re a business owner.

(16:56) So so one of the one of the things I put together because through my own journey of becoming, you know, I’ve been now on my own like 11 going out. (17:05) It will be 11 years in October. (17:07) Is that people thinking about what it is?

(17:10) What kind of a lifestyle do you want? (17:13) Like what do you want your life to look like that needs to be one of the first things you think about and then build your work around that. (17:22) I was living the life of okay.

(17:25) Where’s the job? (17:27) Where’s my commute? (17:28) I want to be I had an hour commute at one point.

(17:31) I was in Seattle and I had an hour commute over a bridge one way like morning and night. (17:36) So two hours plus a day. (17:38) I was just commuting to get somewhere to make a paycheck and get back home to my young daughter, you know, it was just it was just madness.

(17:47) So then I looked at other things and as I was exploring different options, like for example, I’ll use dropshipping someone can be like, oh, I’m going to start selling stuff, right? (17:58) Okay. (17:59) Well, then you’re then you’re tied down to, you know, depending on what kind of a system you have either you’re mailing it yourself or you’re working with Amazon or or whatever, but you’re dealing with customer service and returns that you know, so that’s a whole experience.

(18:11) Some people love that someone else may say, you know, I you know, we’ve all seen the vloggers, you know, the travel vlogger who’s like living. (18:19) I actually have a couple friends who are like modern-day nomads and you know have gone one-way ticket to Bali and then oh now I’m going to Brazil and you know, I’m in Columbia where I’m in Brazil, you know, whatever traveling the globe, but you have to the point is we have to really think about what do we want our day to look like and where do you where would you like to live? (18:42) Like I grew up in rural Minnesota.

(18:43) And so my dream at 13 at the point that I realized Southern California existed. (18:49) I’m like, how did I wind up here? (18:51) I should have been there and how do I get there?

(18:54) So when I was 18, I packed my car and waved bye mom and dad and I drove to the West Coast to go to school and so everything is a choice, but I mean I’ve lived in the Caribbean. (19:05) I’ve lived in Hawaii. (19:06) I’ve lived in San Diego and Seattle and Phoenix and you know, New York City like life is a journey.

(19:12) It’s not meant to be in my estimation, my humble estimation not meant to be lived in one just some people love that one place and that’s what you do. (19:23) You just plant your roots and you stay there. (19:26) I’ve been more of a free spirit.

(19:27) So I’ve experienced living different places. (19:30) And so going back to the question, there is a free downloadable, you know, kind of solo business questions to ask yourself like what kind of lifestyle do I want? (19:42) Like, you know, do I exactly to the point?

(19:44) Do I want to sell things? (19:45) Do I want to sell my knowledge? (19:47) Do I, you know, what do I want?

(19:49) Do I want to build something, create something, create a product, you know, that maybe it’s a tech product and then you go down the list of, you know, your pricing and do you want a team? (20:00) Do you want to be a solopreneur? (20:01) Do you want to grow and then have and I say have to deal with employees like I’ve been in both.

(20:06) I’ve had startups where I had a team in Poland. (20:09) I literally had co-founders in Poland because I got, you know, quarter of a million from Entrepreneur Magazine on their season two of Elevator Pitch. (20:17) And so, you know, I had like global global responsibility, but it in the end that isn’t where I ultimately wanted to be.

(20:25) So, you know now I am I’ll say footloose fancy-free. (20:29) I can work from anywhere literally. (20:31) I mean, even though I produced multiple podcasts and I ghost write for people, but I can do that from different places.

(20:37) I don’t have to be in one location to make I mean seriously if I did the hourly which now I say people you work for 30 years that people pay you for 30 minutes to do something that took you 30 years to learn how to do like I can work, you know, very less and make as much or more than I did before just because I’m self-employed and I have autonomy of where I do that.

Melissa

(21:02) And I love you brought that up because I think that’s a great segue when people leave the W-2 and they become an entrepreneur. (21:10) I think they’ve they often underestimate that jump when you’ve spent most of your career as a W-2 employee things that you have taken for granted like HR and marketing and other, you know, different divisions. (21:24) You are now a team of one.

(21:26) And so what I found with several of my entrepreneur friends is they burnt out quick and becoming an entrepreneur. (21:34) So how do you suggest people build income without burning out in the process?

LuRae

(21:40) So the one thing I would say is, you know, as I had said before like start something to test it out and get your feet wet while you’re still employed and you’ll get a little bit of money set aside but outsource anything you don’t like to do. (21:55) I mean, there are so many now we are a global, you know, global citizenship. (22:01) So I mean there are resources around the globe that you can everything from having them do your commenting if you don’t feel like you want to do it yourself.

(22:13) And I know people that do that like even on their LinkedIn or their (22:16) social media or post for you a fraction of the cost of for example (22:20) of having someone maybe in the US do it but think about the things (22:25) that you really love to do and the things you don’t like to do find (22:28) a way to outsource it and even as an entrepreneur there a lot of (22:32) times you can do trade where you’re not necessarily having to pay (22:36) for everything. (22:38) For example, you could have an accountant that manages your books for you and you in exchange do some marketing for them to help them get the word out that they exist, right? (22:49) So but I think there are so many tools now that are available like I use I mean I’ve used QuickBooks for years and it’s like it’s so simple and people can pay you, you know, right through the internet.

(23:04) They can send you a check. (23:05) They can do a bank transfer. (23:07) I mean, it doesn’t matter whatever they even have bookkeeping.

(23:10) I’ve done at one point did a capital loan through them which you know just for cash flow at you know, as I was starting out and you know paid it back within that, you know that window of six months or a year or whatever it was. (23:21) So I think really sticking to what you love to do and then outsourcing everything else because the other people I get approached all the time, you know, someone’s wanting to build me a new website and like I’m a marketer so I can do that pretty quickly and easily myself. (23:35) I have multiple sites.

(23:36) So, you know, that’s not but for someone who’s not there’s so many options that are great, you know, and even like strikingly.com lovable dot I think it’s lovable.com where they will through just through AI through simple language create a beautiful site for you within an hour or less.

Melissa

(23:57) Yep. (23:57) So true. (23:58) And I think there’s all these things that get lost in our brain our subconscious the questions that actually hold us back from doing the things we want to do like you were saying I want to I don’t want to work I to five anymore.

(24:13) I’m a night owl. (24:13) I want to work noon to whatever and I don’t want to you know, have a desk. (24:18) I want to work in my, you know, pajamas, whatever those things are, but I think most people say, you know, I don’t know what to do.

(24:26) I don’t know where to start. (24:27) I’m not as smart as you, you know, you have more resources or whatever the questions are that we say to ourselves. (24:34) How do you reframe that?

(24:37) And how did you reframe that for yourself?

LuRae

(24:39) Well, I mean, I something that just I remember too is I have have something I put together. (24:43) It’s called a business startup blueprint and it’s free and it just walks you through these are all the things that I’m thinking. (24:50) I’m thinking of even like little, you know, technical things like an EIN number, you know, like setting that up.

(24:56) So which for anybody who’s listening is like it is it’s an ID number that is not your Social Security number so that you keep your business separate when as far as income that allows you to open a bank account, for example, that’s under the business name and you then you can get an LLC. (25:15) So it’s not necessarily tied directly to you and your personal, you know, you as a person. (25:22) So I think, you know, people just need to just start just start somewhere.

(25:28) Like I said, you know, get the get the blueprint that that was literally I think I wrote that like five years ago because it was I put myself in the shoes of someone who I was blessed to be working in the startup space from early in my career. (25:44) So I at one point gave a hundred thousand dollars away to ten deserving small businesses. (25:49) I put I had a two million dollar budget to spend launching a home office consulting center.

(25:53) So it was for startups, right? (25:55) And so I thought, you know, giving some seed funding to startups would be great. (26:00) I was working with entrepreneur and success magazine at the time doing (26:03) events, you know, across our are, you know, 14 states that I was then (26:07) working within and then I put put a hundred thousand aside to give away (26:12) to people just to and one of them was actually adoption.com that got (26:17) funding which then got that press got picked up by the Wall Street (26:21) Journal and they want it being one of the largest adoption sites and (26:24) they just pray they were legit.

(26:25) I know they were because they were two young guys who had gone on a student exchange to a foreign country and they saw all of the need that was there and then people who are not able to have children, you know, who really would be it was such a great service. (26:42) So it’s really just rolling up your sleeves and looking for resources that can help you jumpstart the fast track. (26:50) You’re learning.

(26:50) Don’t try to just figure it out on your own. (26:53) I like again, I was paid to learn how businesses start so that was like such a blessing and then it came full circle with entrepreneur giving me money, you know at the after I had left my last corporate role, it just came back around, you know, twice twice and a half the amount that I had given to other startups along the way. (27:14) So just start just start and take a baby step.

Melissa

(27:18) This episode is brought to you by Summit Ventures. (27:22) If you’re an accredited investor Summit gives you access to one of the greatest tax advantage opportunity direct ownership in oil and gas their projects deliver what they call the triple play cash flow equity growth and powerful tax benefits. (27:43) And here’s the best part.

(27:44) These investments qualify for 1031 exchanges. (27:49) That means you can roll gains from real estate into energy while deferring capital gains to learn more and get a free white paper oil and gas demystified just visit www.summitven.com forward slash executive connect. (28:10) And I love that you said that because I think I wrote my book in my early 20s and I don’t publish it to my 40s.

(28:18) So 20 years of those kind of questions and to your point just start like, you know, it doesn’t matter. (28:25) It doesn’t matter how you same with this podcast. (28:27) I talked about this podcast 10 years ago about doing, you know, some podcasting some speaking before podcasting was even around and I I think the reason that I actually ended up doing both of those things was because I stopped asking the questions and I just took the step and I had a support system behind me that said Melissa like you’re just talking to people like what are you overthinking?

(28:55) I’m like, yeah, that’s a good point. (28:57) I could edit it. (28:58) And so I think that the mindset shift is really important.

(29:02) And like you said taking that first step without having all the perfect answers and knowing, you know, knowing what to do next. (29:14) And so I want to talk about you. (29:16) You talk about choosing what you work on choosing, you know, where you work where you show up and you’ve actually done it by the way that you have explained to us just now.

(29:29) Now, how do you create those boundaries when you’re kind of working through your life? (29:36) So what boundaries are required to do this?

LuRae

(29:38) Well, I would say like, you know, I I was just thinking yesterday there. (29:43) There’s a criteria that I’ve that I had at the point because I had my own agency. (29:48) So I have a digital agency.

(29:49) So I do, you know, create websites and help people. (29:52) I create other podcasts and and goes right for people and but there have (29:57) been instances my criteria is if a company is out to make the world a (30:02) better place that is one of the criteria that I use so there have there (30:08) was an instance that you know, that is just an example of it only happened (30:12) once but I had started on the path working with someone, you know, and it (30:16) wasn’t a fit and I refunded their money. (30:21) I put a certified check in the mail and said I gave them whatever the work I had done. (30:26) They got got it for free and I just said I wish you all the best because I’m not going to work with someone who’s not in alignment.

(30:34) I’m very much a like a people person. (30:37) I mean, I had HR at one point and one of my last corporate roles come and say, what are you doing? (30:42) You have the highest retention the highest engagement rates of the whole company.

(30:47) I said, well, we get together and I asked what do they need? (30:52) What do they want? (30:52) This is like pre-covid so people were telling me, you know, we want to be able to work from home some and you know, we like to celebrate birthdays and you know, so they do like long birthday lunches.

(31:01) They could work from home, you know, just make sure people know where you are and they want to we started optional. (31:08) We started I started de-stress Fridays. (31:10) So optional meditation on Friday afternoons in the large conference room.

(31:14) So my team was coming and then I had people from other groups coming to ask, can we use it? (31:20) Okay, if we come in and join and was just like we all just closed their eyes and I had music that was, you know, like a guided guided music and people, you know, just went within and grounded themselves because the corporate environments don’t encourage that. (31:34) I mean, we is like turn a burn, you know, where’s the report?

(31:37) When’s it going to be done? (31:38) You know, you’re on an action plan. (31:41) Whatever the latest chaos of the day.

(31:44) So yeah, so I think it’s really being true to yourself and when you’re doing your own work and you’re defining what you do and and kind of whether what’s the criteria for the people you want to work with like who’s your ideal customer profile, which a lot of people in the ICP once you define who that is, then that’s going to the first step and then you can still screen from there. (32:11) And if someone doesn’t fit you just don’t you nicely say, you know, I don’t think it’s a fit and you move on and then you can say no. (32:20) Like, you know, I probably say no to more just because I at this point don’t I’m choosing selectively who I work with, right?

(32:28) So it’s not like, you know, come one. (32:32) Come on. (32:33) No, it’s we have to be a fit a mutual fit and you know, I love that the people that I work with.

(32:40) I mean, they’re to you know, they become like literally become friends to a certain extent. (32:44) So on a you know in a different way, so yeah, and it’s so true.

Melissa

(32:49) I think like most of my career there weren’t boundaries in place in my roles. (32:54) If I just sit at the table, I was expected to work nights weekends, you know, right off maternity leave get right back into it. (33:02) No time to slow down.

(33:04) And so, you know when I think about the word boundaries, I think to your (33:11) point, you have a lot more ability to have those boundaries and work with (33:15) a client of clients that are high vibe or your vibe or whatever the vibe (33:19) is when you work for yourself, like I’ve worked with a lot of colleagues (33:24) that were very low vibe negative, you know, the world’s coming in at to an (33:30) end tomorrow and I remember every time I’d leave meetings.

(33:35) I’d be like, oh my gosh, I’m so depressed and so to your point sending that check back to a client that wasn’t in alignment with who you were is such a powerful, you know, freedom to have and so what are some of these trade-offs that come with having the freedom?

LuRae

(33:54) I mean, I what something that’s coming to mind which doesn’t directly answer your question, but it’s also something you go through. (34:00) I remember being so conditioned to be productive to be working to be that I felt guilty if I wasn’t behind my laptop like got to do something like do the client work first. (34:14) Don’t you know, so I remember one of the down don’t don’t go do something fun for yourself, you know, God forbid.

(34:19) So I remember one of the first times that I on a Monday, I went to the beach with the dog. (34:28) It was a Monday morning hadn’t done one bit of work and it was the most liberating feeling and then I came back and I was like I was inspired to what am I creating today? (34:42) Like what am I working, you know, obviously and know what I’m working on but I think for me all almost I’m like almost an anti-calendar girl at this point because my schedule used to be like, you know, I mean I flew to Singapore for God’s sake within, you know was told.

(34:59) Oh, we need you in Singapore like two days later. (35:01) I’m like on a red-eye flying to Singapore with a meeting the next day at 830 in the morning. (35:07) I mean, I did not own my calendar.

(35:09) So like I do have sir. (35:12) I do have structure where you know, I know. (35:15) Okay, these are these are the times that I do do these certain things but to not have a packed calendar has been like the biggest blessing of it all so I think setting those like those boundaries in terms of anti things as well.

(35:32) Like what am I not going to do? (35:33) I’m not going to fill my calendar. (35:36) I’m not going to say yes to everything.

(35:38) I’m not going to go to every networking event. (35:41) I’m invited to like I say no probably more than I say. (35:44) Yes, because I really want quality not quantity.

Melissa

(35:48) I love that and I absolutely agree. (35:50) I think who we surround ourselves with and who we work with is either (35:55) increasing our life moving in a direction with joy and positivity or (36:01) it’s either bringing us down and so really creating that momentum that (36:05) last has to do with who’s around us and I know you’ve built platforms and (36:10) programs and so what separates the people that follow through from those

LuRae

(36:16) who don’t yeah, I think you know people to your point the people around you (36:22) have a big influence on whether you stick with something and go forward. (36:28) I mean, I think of my my father early in my career and my parents both had eighth-grade educations like their parents immigrated from Europe.

(36:37) So, you know, but no one in my family. (36:40) I was the first one to graduate from high school and college, right? (36:42) My my siblings didn’t even do that.

(36:45) And so my father was like, oh you should just be a secretary. (36:49) Why are you going to school? (36:50) I said dad, I’m going to have a secretary.

(36:51) I’m not going to be one and he couldn’t see that. (36:55) I said one day. (36:56) I’m going to be making whatever the number was.

(36:58) I threw that out to him dad one day. (36:59) I’m going to be making he just looked at me and he’s like, you know, only the (37:01) best people get the good jobs and I was like, I’m one of the best people so I (37:05) remember waiting to that point and I had far surpassed that dollar amount, you (37:10) know that I had said to him and and I think it’s like he was they were my (37:14) parents are so proud of me because you know, I had surpassed anything they (37:18) could even envision achieving or someone, you know in their lineage. (37:24) They used to laugh and say all the brains came went to me. (37:27) I was the last of five, but I think it’s like the people you surround yourself with have makes all the difference of what’s possible both my daughters entrepreneurs like they neither of them went the corporate route and I just both of told them be happy.

(37:44) Well do something that is something you are going to like to do don’t just do something because I did it like don’t don’t follow in my shoes steps or whatever people will say. (37:55) So I think the people around you have such an effect on on what is possible and that saying of like the five closest people to you. (38:05) I say it’s even less than that very closest people to you will determine the trajectory that you go so surround yourself with people that you aspire to be like or are uplifting or at least supportive I’m open to feedback and I don’t I try to you know, get the ego out of the way.

(38:23) So I just told the colleague yesterday that I said, you know, just don’t sugarcoat it. (38:28) What what are you? (38:29) What do you see tell me and I’d rather hear that but it is from someone I trust so they have good intentions.

(38:36) They they’re supportive of the vision and the dream you have they’re not then I would minimize and step back let them go figure life out. (38:47) But yeah negativity will just bring you down. (38:51) So stick with those who are at least doing something that is positive or you know are encouraging of you doing something positive and you know, it’s it’s a funny thing the environment plays such an important role of our happiness.

Melissa

(39:07) It didn’t occur to me until I became a remote employee in 2016 that I was unhappy with my work environment because I was around and sitting near and close to a lot of either negative people are in a negative environment and I’m in a very positive very authentic kind of gal and it wasn’t until I went home that I realized that and kind of second to your point. (39:38) I didn’t realize that I was feeling guilty by not working and working and working until I was tired and what happened for me the second piece of that is when I went home and I was working from my own home. (39:50) I was so much more productive that I just kept working and working and working because people weren’t in my office bothering me.

(39:58) And so accountability is a really important trait. (40:02) But if you are already an accountable kind of person, it’s easy to become that entrepreneur because you’re able to create consistency regularly versus having consistency come from systems that are from something inside the company that you’re working for. (40:20) So one of the things that’s been really helpful for me is, you know, I’m somebody that’s really consistent with the things that I enjoy the most whether it be exercise or podcast, but that’s what gave me my momentum was this consistency the accountability and so I was able to kind of gain momentum because of that.

(40:40) And so I want to get your thoughts on how how do you sustain this long-term growth, you know, it’s I mean, I couldn’t believe myself that it’s going to be 11 years in October.

LuRae

(40:52) I mean, it’s just it and it has been I would say it’s been so much fun because I like even now I have to a certain extent. (41:01) I’ve I’m engaging in the AI wave in a way to help and empower other people. (41:09) So I just did the you know, looking at the future of opportunities with AI.

(41:15) Yeah, a lot of jobs will be going away, but a lot of new ones will be created. (41:18) So I think I’m continuing to work and work on things and I became a breathwork facilitator for God’s sake like I’m, you know, I’m like I’m I’m into health. (41:29) I’m into well, I go to an infrared sauna.

(41:31) I have an unlimited I can go every day of the week infrared sauna with breathwork at 170 degrees. (41:36) Like I think I’m at almost at 600 sessions. (41:39) It’s, you know, since like 2022 so that the things that are really, you know, sustaining and give back to us like I’m a big meditator.

(41:49) I’ve been to three Dr. Joe dispenser retreats in the last year. (41:53) I mean, I didn’t realize it was three and I looked I was like, oh my gosh, so, you know, really taking care of ourselves, which doesn’t get encouraged. (42:02) I mean, I remember being so burned out and, you know, walking from my the bathroom back to my office in New York.

(42:09) The second time I’d moved back and asking myself when’s my sentence going to be up and I thought I remember thinking no one does anything forever. (42:18) So like when is this going to end and was like it’s going to end when I make the decision that I’m going to do something different. (42:26) That’s when it’s going to end.

(42:27) And so, you know, I mean, I won’t even disclose my age, but it’s like as I’m approaching like I don’t send like retirement is not even a thing like I have books that I’m writing. (42:37) I’m writing a nonprofit dog book right now for people who can’t afford dog food and vet bills written from a dog’s point of view. (42:45) So, you know, it will be it will be coming out.

(42:49) Hopefully before the holidays this year. (42:50) I started writing it a while ago. (42:52) So it’s like a passion project, but it’s like we get to do those things that I’m also writing a book about healing your inner child because a lot of the barriers that people have stepping out into their own business feeling that they’re worthy of making more money than they’re making comes from, you know, where did you get that belief?

(43:11) You weren’t good enough. (43:13) Where did you get the belief that I’m not enough like yes, you are your perfect complete and whole just the way you are. (43:20) I mean it and and until people get to that truth, you know, we are will stay stuck where we’re at.

(43:29) So yeah, I have a shadow work bundle that I created to because unless you engage and reconnect yourself with your wholeness there we have this, you know, unfortunately that conveyor belt of life those first seven years. (43:44) We’re taking in everything. (43:46) We don’t have a way to discern or filter or was that true or was that not true and things can be said or things can be done and we think oh, that’s that’s I’m that’s what I’m worth or that’s my my reality.

(44:00) No, that’s not that’s something that happened to you or something was said to you. (44:05) That’s not who you are.

Melissa

(44:07) So yeah, and I love that you said that because I think who told us that well in my case, it was teachers that told me I wasn’t smart enough or bosses that told me I was too young or too blonde or I wore lipstick or I’m a female and so I think it’s it’s all around all of us. (44:26) None of us get out of life without these people speaking into our lives. (44:32) I’ve had people tell me I’m not a good boss, but then you ask my employees.

(44:37) They loved working for me and the ones that didn’t were the ones that were the whiners moaners complainers that wanted to do half the effort or half the work. (44:47) And so I think we have to ask and listen to the people around us. (44:53) But you you said something really really important in as women.

(44:58) I find that having this relationship with self it is okay to go to the beach and take your dog. (45:05) It is okay to take an hour lunch to do something for you to care for you. (45:10) And I know that I have put a strong practice in place to advocate for myself and to not only in the workforce, but in my home for my children to say, okay, I need a little bit of a break and I’m going to go do this thing for me and that doesn’t mean I’m selfish that just means I value my relationship with myself and I need time to rest and recoup.

(45:35) And so I think you’re so spot on with all of that.

LuRae

(45:39) Yeah, yeah, we can’t give from an empty cup. (45:42) Like if somebody else is wanting something from you and your cup is empty, you have nothing to pour from so that it’s self-love self-care is really self-love and unless we are giving to ourselves, we have nothing to give to someone else. (46:00) I mean, we’re we’re mirrors of one another and you know, we reflect back to that other person whatever is going on within them.

(46:08) So, you know people around you are saying, you know, you’re I love being around you or you know, or it’s the opposite like oh no there they come again, you know, it’s like it’s time to look within and just do some work do let go of stuff and and be around people that are going to be uplifting. (46:26) We don’t have to punish ourselves to be I mean even when it comes to family, it doesn’t just because you know, there’s a family you choose and then there’s the family that you’re biologically born into. (46:37) So, you know, just be smart about how you spend your time life is fleeting like this isn’t a dress rehearsal.

(46:44) This is this is the real deal. (46:46) This is it.

Melissa

(46:46) Yeah, and it’s compressing and it’s moving faster and faster and it’s funny some of my best girlfriends. (46:53) I met accidentally and a couple of them are 20 30 years older than me and they could be you know, a grandparent to me and so or a mother to me and so I agree with you. (47:06) I think you know today we’ve talked about a lot of things but freedom doesn’t start when everything’s figured out it starts when you decide to move and you remind us that income independence isn’t about escaping the work but it’s about choosing it and the sooner you start the more options you create for your own financial future.

(47:32) So I want to thank you so much for being here today and sharing all your knowledge and your authentic self with our listeners. (47:39) And if you enjoyed this episode of the executive connect podcast, please share with someone who’s about to make their next move and for more conversations on wealth leadership and building your own financial freedom subscribe to YouTube and your favorite podcast. (47:57) Thanks again for being with us today.

(48:01) Luray.

LuRae

(48:02) Thank you. (48:02) Thank you so much. (48:03) This was so fun.