Summary

Melissa Aarskaug and Ariel Faulkner explore the intersection of leadership and wellness, focusing on challenges faced by women over 35 and the importance of self-care. Ariel shares her journey into nutrition, offering practical tips on maintaining health through intentional choices in diet, movement, and mindfulness. Together, they emphasize how small, consistent changes can prevent burnout and create lasting wellness amidst busy lifestyles.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Leadership and Wellness
00:50 Ariel’s Journey into Nutrition and Wellness
05:53 Understanding Perimenopause and Its Impact on Women
11:57 The Importance of Nutrition for Cognitive Function
18:12 Quality of Food and Its Role in Health
23:04 Balancing Life, Nutrition, and Wellness
23:36 Holistic Wellness for Busy Executives
30:02 Understanding and Preventing Burnout
41:07 Building a Healthy Relationship with Food

Transcript

Melissa Aarskaug (00:01.536)
Welcome to the executive connect podcast where we explore the intersection of leadership and wellness with top professionals today I’m so excited to have Ariel Faulkner with us to talk about my favorite subjects leadership and wellness. Ariel is an integrative performance dietitian and she helps clients navigate wellness and lifestyle changes especially women athletes.

managing perimenopause. Welcome, Ariel.

Ariel (00:33.642)
Thank you so much for having Melissa. I’m so excited to get this conversation going.

Melissa Aarskaug (00:40.674)
I wanna start with just tell us a little bit about your background and maybe the key aspects of your journey in health and wellness coaching.

Ariel (00:50.134)
would love to. So it really started, grew up, my mother was very health centric. She was doing Jane Fonda, I was following behind her at 11 years old. Gotta love the warmers. And we lived in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania in the mountains. I mean, it doesn’t mean we had a, it wasn’t exactly the best childhood in some aspects. My sister, my older, so my mom was a little on that extreme end, right? I mean, a lot of women, I think in the 70s and 80s, it was like.

low fat, chronic dieting, chronic cardio, always trying to lose the last 10 pounds. That was kind of the modeling that we had. And then that got me interested in nutrition at a young age because I was one of four girls and I was the only one that wasn’t naturally super skinny. And that was very prominent to me by my siblings and by my mother. So that started me being very aware of those things at a young age. And then my oldest sister developed an eating disorder at 11.

Melissa Aarskaug (01:45.091)
Mmm.

Ariel (01:45.15)
and she had knee disorder for years. And then when I was 20, I was at university and my sister passed from bulimia anorexia. And so I changed my major to nutrition because I felt very much like this was a calling for me to make a difference in this arena. And I was still having my own kind of food struggles from all of that conditioning as a child as well, some trauma I experienced. so doing a lot of work with myself.

And after getting out of school and working with clients, I started in the Rothman Institute in Philadelphia, creating a wellness program there to work with patients. And then they had me at multiple physicians’ offices. And then I was at a boutique wellness studio. And then in my late 20s, I flew to Florida on a weekend and loved it. So I applied for a consultant job and ended up like getting that job in two weeks, moved down to Florida. And then I was working for different companies until COVID happened. And I had a homeschool my daughter.

and the physician I was working for, she’s a surgeon and she said, just start your own practice. You’re so good at what you do. I’m just going to send clients to you. So my first client she sent, who I can say because he has a, he has a testimonial on Facebook. He made it very clear that I helped him. was Bobby Bonia, if anybody’s a baseball fan.

and he was supposed to get gastric bypass, but we took 150 pounds off in six months and he never needed to get gastric bypass. And then of course, then the word spread and became kind of my thriving practice, really focusing on…

weight loss and weight management, but it’s kind of funny because it was a double-edged sword because people saw his success and then everybody wanted it yesterday, right? So they thought that there was some kind of magic bullet, but what they don’t realize is something that athletes and executives have in common is showing up consistently day after day and doing the work. And with anything you want to achieve that’s great in life, you have to do that. And having so many different, such a variety of clients, so many different experiences over the years.

Ariel (03:46.006)
I was recently working just with perimenopause and menopausal women who are active, 35 and older, experiencing all kinds of symptoms related to perimenopause and menopause and through nutrition training, mindset, habit, behavior change, and really getting them more into that parasympathetic state, we’re able to mitigate a lot of those symptoms and almost like turn the lights back on, recharge the batteries, because a lot of the things that we accept as just natural

the natural decline of aging or not. So resting metabolism does not decrease until you’re in your seventies if you do the right thing. So we can’t blame our metabolism. Our energy should be steady until we’re in our seventies. We should feel good. We should wake up in the morning and be excited and happy. And am I saying that estrogen doesn’t impact, you know, brain function and mood? It absolutely does. But we have a lot of power in our ability to impact how

how much it affects our ability to have executive performance, cognitive abilities, mood, sleep. And what I see most women get into the habit of, especially if they’re under a lot of stress is,

that everybody’s worried about their weight, right? They’re all trying to control their weight. So maybe they’re gaining a little weight because of hormonal shifts. So they start skipping breakfast or they go on the latest fasting trend. And then they have this low calorie salad. And like you were saying, with all this high fat dressing with God knows how many chemicals. Then they only have 300 calories and they get home in the evening and they’re so burned out and stressed out. They have a bottle of wine, then they sleep like shit. And then they’re like, they get up and they repeat the cycle all over again. And that just continues to compound.

And it doesn’t have to be that way. And really when we shift our approach to transforming our health from a place of self care and self compassion and truly a heart versus a head centered space, it’s incredible what we can achieve and how our body responds and then how we can show up for everybody in the world because how we vibrate, what are the frequency we carry is what we attract.

Ariel (05:53.96)
And so if we want to be high energy, successful and have love and light in our life, then that’s what we need to also be giving to ourselves. And that’s the other thing is women are so often, you know, people pleasers and putting themselves on the back and going, I’m going to take care of you. And they don’t know how to say no. And it’s, we, we actually can’t be our best for others until we’re our best for ourselves. And that goes with everything.

Melissa Aarskaug (06:21.173)
Yes, so so so true. It’s it’s I always say like the flight attendant says it best you got to help yourself before you can help others right and definitely goes back to what you say you were saying I want to kind of talk a little bit about what you were saying specifically to women that are you know over 35 looking at hormonal imbalance and really talked about how the impact of like you were saying not eating correctly, you know not

managing their emotions correctly how that affects them in every day, like not only like their physical body, but actually their performance in their job or just showing up in their life as a mom. So I want to kind of unpack that a little bit more. If you could share some more thoughts about that.

Ariel (07:07.766)
Absolutely. So one of the biggest mistakes I see is women not eating enough or eating erratically. So symptoms of menopause like brain fog, hot flashes, low energy, they are exacerbated when we’re in a fasting state. So I know fasting is one of those, you know, it’s a trend, right? But that’s one of the worst things we can do because when our body perceives a lack of fuel coming in, then we’re increasing cortisol and cortisol counters estrogen.

So we’re already having these fluctuating estrogen levels and now we’ve got cortisol rising. Now our estrogen is even lower, which is causing even more issues and even more propensity for increased fat gain and decreased metabolism and metabolic rate as well as mood issues, brain fog and hot flashes as well. So we want to be prioritizing eating. And nobody’s really talking about that, especially in this new light of all these weight loss drugs, but we need to fuel the body and fuel the metabolism.

So getting up in the morning and having a solid breakfast, I know, having a breakfast within an hour of waking up, making sure you have 30 to 40 grams of high quality protein. And then every, I’d say about every four hours throughout the day, either having another meal or a snack based around quality protein, fruits, vegetables, healthy fats.

And, know, starches are not to be feared. Whole quality starches, like everybody loves me when I tell them they can eat potatoes. And there’s ways to make potatoes, to make them a resistant starch that feed the gut and different types of whole unrefined carbohydrates, because they feed the microbiome, they study their energy, they help with sleep, they help with mood, and they help with also progesterone and estrogen, increasing progesterone and estrogen levels. Because the other thing is we’re not providing the body the fuel, the body that

further decreases the hormonal levels and then has, I mean, so many other impacts. The other thing that women don’t do typically is drinking enough water. And people don’t think of this, but water is really a nutrient. And if you’re not getting just three to 40 % of dehydration has significant impact on your ability to think clearly. That alone will cause brain fog. I’ve had women just start their day with a large glass of water with some trace minerals.

Ariel (09:25.606)
and a little bit of lemon juice and a pinch of sea salt. And they’re like, my gosh, I’m not feeling like I’m gonna crash at 3 p.m. The other mistake women make is caffeine. So caffeine has a six hour half life. So if you’re sitting there and you’re dragging through the day, because you’re not eating properly, you’re not sleeping, you’re not getting enough protein, you’re not getting enough antioxidants, your health is a mess, and then you’re grabbing coffee at 3 p.m., you’re laying in bed going, can’t I sleep? It’s 11 o’clock at night because that caffeine is still coursing through your system.

And the thing about it is that 10 p.m. to 12 a.m. window is so critical because that is equivalent, the two hours before midnight to get that sleep is equivalent to four hours. So when you get the two hours after midnight, if you get that two hours before midnight, you’re getting equivalent of four hours after midnight. And that quality deep sleep is when the brain basically pressure washes, right? So if we’re not getting that deep sleep, we’re not pressure washing our brain.

And then that again leads to migraines, headaches, brain fog, low energy, low mood. And as much as we can know information, we all know intuitively, we don’t act as what we know, we act in how we feel. If you don’t feel good, how motivated are you going to be to go for that walk in the evening?

or to do the things that you need to do to really take care of yourself. mean, women, as we know, we go through that PMS stage where sometimes one week out of the month we’re like, what the hell, who is this person? Mood changes so much. It’s like you actually have to fight yourself to do the things you know you need to do to take care of yourself. But I mean, it’s just, it’s really what I find so frustrating is I, you know.

watching a lot of the gurus on YouTube and a lot of these people talking about these bits and pieces and then applying these extreme protocols to the mass without really understanding what that person needs or where they’re coming from and without really understanding what the body needs to thrive. And we overcomplicate everything. So I always have this saying that diet culture complicates nutrition to sell you a program to uncomplicate nutrition.

Ariel (11:42.27)
because it’s true. Like if we can make you so confused and make you think, you have to eat an eight hour window. and then you have to do this and then you have to do that. I mean, who the hell has time for that? Much less when were we supposed to have to micromanage every aspect of our wellbeing?

Melissa Aarskaug (11:57.486)
Yeah. Yeah. And I think there was a lot in there. And, you know, one of the key things I think, like you said, is really basically eating breakfast. Like that is because if you’re not eating the most important meal of the day, chances are you’re picking up the calories or watching the calories somewhere down the road and it’s better to pack them in in the morning and get like your well balanced meal before starting your eight hour day. That way you’re

your body is fueled up like your gas tank, right? Like when you wake up in the morning, you’re, I always think of it like you’re on E, right? You have like, you’re still kind of, you know, filling your tank up. And like you said, putting water in your body, fueling the water up and putting food in your body, which is just like filling your gas tank. You can’t drive your car from one seat to another on E. And it’s just like food and having four nuts or

you know, one one avocado and that’s really healthy and a diet coke or, you know, a coffee or however you whatever you’re putting in your Stanley Cup. I love what you said about water because a lot of times people like, I drink fluids all day. I’m like, well, what are you putting in your Yeti and in your Stanley? Is it water? Or is it soda pop and sugary beverages and all those other things because you’re spot on a start with you know, like the takeaway start with a good breakfast.

Ariel (13:09.092)
Thanks.

Melissa Aarskaug (13:20.898)
fuel your body up with what makes you feel good. So if you eat like, you know, you drink a protein shake with milk and you feel sick to your stomach, well, something’s wrong. We need to figure out what’s wrong with that. Is it this protein shake or is it the milk in the shake? So I think kind of the second piece of what you were saying is, is looking at once you kind of map out a strategy that works for you, and it might take like you said, 90 days if it’s

Ariel (13:31.712)
Thank you.

Melissa Aarskaug (13:49.698)
you know, only this many calories in this window, it becomes more challenging for people to get very specific. So it’s like you said, it’s small things like get a balanced breakfast, we all can do that, right? And then be mindful and aware of what you’re putting in. And I know that, I mean, there’s, like you said, there’s research after research about, you know, the benefits of a balanced diet.

Ariel (13:55.05)
Love you.

Melissa Aarskaug (14:16.824)
But but what is a balanced diet to me might be different for you, right? I might be able to take in things differently than you. And so really, you know, I want to really unpack some strategies and principles and make it simple for our listeners to put together ideas on what they need to do for their their bodies, so they can get the best outcome in their day to day from not only just cognitive function showing up for their job, but

the energy to be present with their family and the mental clarity to move and do like pick up the dry cleaning and all the other things that people have to do in their day. So let’s kind of unpack a little bit more strategies that they can do to really have that cognitive fuel during the day.

Ariel (15:06.858)
Yeah, and the other thing I just want to circle back to real quick because it’s really important, especially in light of all these new drugs out to suppress appetite. So a lot of times women don’t eat breakfast because they’re trying to lose weight or cut calories. And the thing is, is that your stress hormone cortisol is highest in the morning. So when you do not have a breakfast within an hour of that, that cortisol does not get counteracted by glucose availability. And so that just continues to rise throughout the day.

and you are not burning fat, you are burning lean tissue. And then the other piece of that is that the calories you eat in the morning, if you eat 500 calories in the morning versus 500 calories at 5 p.m., they are three times more satiating. So they have three times the effect on increasing your leptin and decreasing your graylin. So it’s a natural appetite suppressant. Every woman who comes to me and says, I don’t know what’s wrong, I just can’t control myself at night when I get home from work.

when we start to put them on the diet that’s appropriate, getting a good breakfast that’s balanced for their body and fueling throughout the day and hydrating, they get home, like, I’m not even that hungry. I could have a light dinner or go for a walk because it’s not, we always blame our psychology, but there’s a dance between the psychology and the physiology and we always have to look at all those aspects. But when it comes to really looking at something simple,

One thing is women typically don’t eat enough protein. So like if every time you eat, you’re looking at, need 20 to 30 and sometimes 40 grams of protein, it’s very simple. We’re looking at a palm portion of protein. We’re looking at a cup of Greek yogurt, a cup of cottage cheese, four to six ounces of chicken, four to six ounces of lean meat.

tuna fish, know, all those eggs, eggs are wonderful. All of those are lean protein sources. Then, no, we don’t just wanna eat protein. We need to balance that with some carbohydrates. So we’re talking about unrefined whole food carbohydrates. And this does not mean you can’t eat bread just by like sprouted bread or Dave’s killer bread or sourdough bread that’s been naturally fermented. So like it’s a quality bread without a bunch of crap in it or make some potatoes and sweet potatoes and roast them up the night before, throw them in the fridge.

Ariel (17:16.564)
and then pull them out the next day and either reheat them or eat them cold, a half cup to a cup of potatoes, one of the most satiating foods that creates resistant starch, which feeds that beneficial bacteria in the gut. And it’s like getting the small glucose strip throughout the day. And all of a sudden, when you have that meal, you’re walking through the office and those cookies and things do not look good because your body feels so good, because you’re fueling your body. Then the other piece is we really need those antioxidants. I mean, I know we hear it all the time, fruits and vegetables, but…

The latest research shows that the higher your intake of all of these beautiful polyphenols and anthocyanins and fruits and vegetables and antioxidants, and those are all kind of like the different rich colors and the diversity, the higher the intake, the lower the rate of your decline in mental function. It’s like feeding and nourishing the brain when we’re eating those foods. And there is a gut brain axis, so you’re also feeding and nourishing the gut.

95 % of our serotonin is produced in the gut. And so what we always need to do is be thinking about, you know, food cells become you cells. So how we’re feeding ourselves are exactly how we’re going to feel. And then healthy fats are also really, really important. So getting healthy fats from, you know, unsaturated, polyunsaturated fats like omega-3.

Everybody should be supplementing with omega-3 if they’re not eating a portion of fatty fish on a daily basis. They’re directly linked to decrease in cognitive decline, as well as so many other aspects and improvement in mood and fertility and health and body composition. But then we want our other good quality plant fats and animal fat is not something to be afraid of. And one thing I do want to say when it comes to dairy products is there’s a lot of women that are like, dairy is bad. I shouldn’t eat dairy.

It’s the problem is, is that we’ve started to demonize foods like a blanket statement and it’s yeah, do not eat Dianne and lighten fit, please don’t, but eat the White Mountain Organic Bulgarian yogurt that’s been fully fermented. So you’re getting 90 billion beneficial bacteria in that and your body is going to be so happy. So we always have to look at like the quality of the food, the way the food is produced. Are there any additives in there? And so we.

Ariel (19:35.944)
instead of like kind of like demonizing food groups, we have to be more specific. Like I’m an egg snob, right? The only eggs I eat are like these like heritage blue eggs because that yolk is so orange. It reminds me as a kid growing up and you taste that yolk and you’re like, my God, this is the best egg I’ve ever had. But I will not touch factory farmed eggs because there is a huge difference between the nutrient density and quality and deliciousness, right? And then the other really cool thing is egg yolks are one of our richest sources of

and they’ve shown that when you have adequate levels of choline that impacts everything in the body in regards to cognitive health, executive function, helps with, what am I thinking of, just satiety, they’re healthy fats, they contain essential fats in them, they have certain essential vitamins and minerals outside of the choline, and yes, they have cholesterol, but please don’t be afraid of cholesterol. Cholesterol is not going to give you heart disease.

It is not the cholesterol that’s the problem. It’s the inflammation and overall intake of ultra processed foods causing insulin resistance in the body, which then causes the oxidation, inflammation, and then the cholesterol to be deposited on the arteries. But if you are in an anti-inflammatory state, cholesterol is not something to be feared.

Melissa Aarskaug (20:56.662)
Yeah, and it’s it’s interesting. That’s a lot of good stuff as well. I think you know, I look at my life. I’m very busy. I’m traveling. And a lot of times people ask me, Ariel, they’re like, how do you integrate like, nutrition, and fitness and mental wellness? And how are you like checking and ticking all the boxes? And oftentimes, my answer is

You know, some days I’m skipping the gym or skipping my yoga and I’m running around an airport and that is the, you know, quote unquote checkbox for the day. And, you know, other times I’m on a plane and I turn on music for, I don’t know, 10 minutes of the plane ride and I, I just chill out and you know, sometimes I’m eating, you know, the wrong types of food I’m eating, you know,

Ariel (21:26.326)
Mm-hmm.

Melissa Aarskaug (21:46.058)
airport breakfast that aren’t always the greatest and I’m eating you know, a waffle because it’s quick and I go and I think you know, the one thing I often tell people is like every day doesn’t have to be perfect, right? It just do what you can when you can and then and then checks and balances reset, right? So then when I get back on a Friday night for my work trip Saturday morning, I’m up. I’m doing my exercise. I’m eating a healthy breakfast.

I’m taking the day on and I may have had like one day that wasn’t great or two days or four days that weren’t great. And I’m kind of resetting, you know, on the weekends sometimes. And I think a lot of times like what you were saying is everybody’s like, okay, I’m January one, I’m going on a diet, I’m gonna lose this many pounds, I’m gonna hit the gym, I sign up for a membership, I’m gonna start kidding my meals. And then they get to February and they’re like, I can’t

My son’s having a birthday, I gotta have the cake. I can’t make it to the gym because I’m tired. And we have all these like you said, excuses or milk’s bad or meats bad or exercises bad. And I think, you know, the one thing that I know that’s been pretty consistent for me in my life is, you know, showing up in my life and my body where I’m at, right? Like, I have to travel for work, I have to do these things. And so

Ariel (23:04.886)
Thank you.

Melissa Aarskaug (23:09.378)
you know, when I decide to do those things, I try to make better choices, like at the moment with what I have. And I don’t always…

Melissa Aarskaug (23:36.985)
Can you hear me now? What is going on? Sorry about that. And then my somebody called me and I’m on do not disturb. have no idea. so with all that, I want to talk about examples. And like your holistic approach for busy executives on how they can lead and live their best life. Like what are some tips and tricks that you can share with, you know, busy executives?

Ariel (24:05.591)
Yeah, sure. I love what you just said because it’s like doing the best you can in the circumstances you have and it’s not about perfection, it’s about progress and wellness is not a destination, it’s a lifestyle. And so it’s really about first asking yourself what’s your why and how do you wanna feel when you’re looking at five years down the road, not five minutes, not five weeks, but five years down the road, how do you wanna feel in your body?

What does that person do on a day-to-day basis in order to achieve and sustain that? And then it’s starting to walk in that direction and making small, sustainable changes consistently over time. But let me just give you an example of a couple of things I want to touch on in relationship to what you just said about traveling. Because I just traveled at a work conference to a work conference in Dallas. it was like, you’re in that airport and you’re like,

I can’t even imagine not having nutrition education because you’re walking around and everything is just gross, right? Most of it is just total trash. And so what I do and what I advise my clients to do is like, I buy those little flavored tuna or salmon packs. I have them with me. I’ll even buy like the organic grass-fed jerky. I bring nuts. I bring fruit in my bag. I bring things to get me through. So those are things like having food on you that’s nutritious, that’s packaged.

that you can have with you. So like if you’re in an airport for four hours, it’s okay. You don’t have to have a meal, have something you know what’s in it. And then when you get to the hotel, most of the time you can order something like a salmon dish or a chicken or steak and get double vegetables and skip the fries and just making those intentional decisions. Obviously either limiting the alcohol or maybe limiting to one drink and making sure you’re hydrating enough, but really having those like.

Quality snacks that are protein rich on hand with you and then making intentional choices when you get to your destination because pretty much every restaurant is gonna have a Quality protein option. They’re gonna have quality vegetable options and then I don’t hesitate to ask them like I want double vegetables I don’t want the starch because most of the time the starch isn’t roasted potatoes. It’s like french fries, right or some kind of like really heavy Risotto or something

Ariel (26:21.948)
And then, so that’s one of them. And the other thing is we’ve really compartmentalized the exercise piece in the sense of people think that if I don’t go to the gym, I’m not working out. What’s really sad about that is like, if you go out for a 30 minute walk at a good clip.

You’re getting 30 minutes of zone two exercise and that’s amazing. And you don’t even have to do it all at once. You can go for three different 10 minute walks. So if you get up in the morning and you go for a 10 minute walk, then you catch your plane, then guess what? Instead of sitting there, let’s walk around the airport and get some steps while I listen to a book or I listen to a podcast. I got 10,000 steps before my first flight coming home on Sunday because I had an hour and a half and it was a small airport and I just walked back and forth and listened to a book.

And I’m like, why am gonna sit down when I can be moving? What we need to stop doing is thinking about exercises only kind of in the gym or only on a machine because movement is exercise. It’s all burning calories. It’s all helping the body. The other thing I have clients do, especially business people who are really, really busy throughout the day. And in fact, one of my clients has her whole company doing this. I thought it was hilarious, but every 30 minutes, if you do 10 body weight squats out of your chair, it is a…

equivalent to walking 30 minutes a day on your metabolic parameters. So I think everybody can take, do 10 body weight squats every 30 minutes while they’re sitting at their chair. And I say even in the beginning, you can set your little timer on your phone and it gets your energy up. And she said they started doing it, the whole company started doing it and everybody’s feeling better. I thought that was so cool. But we are over complicating these things, right? So have lunch, go for a 10 minute walk.

Get that midday sun in your eyes. That helps, again, with regulating your circadian rhythm so that when you go to bed tonight, you can get some sleep. After dinner, go for another 10-minute walk. We are all busy, and I have yet to meet somebody who is too busy to take a five or 10-minute walk at a time after a meal or throughout the day.

Ariel (28:21.404)
most of the time. and then I loved what you said about closing your eyes. That’s the other thing I do. I throw on a Joe Dispenza meditation when I get on the plane. I do some deep breathing. get myself into that parasympathetic mode because the other thing we see a lot of is gut issues and GI issues, especially with executives and people who are on the run because your stomach acid production is inhibited in a sympathetic state. So if you sit down,

and you don’t take any breath and you’re just eating really fast and you’re trying to get to the next thing. Well, not only are you inhibiting your digestion, you’re affecting your gut health, you’re inhibiting your metabolic, your metabolism, all the pathways, you don’t feel good. And then you’re looking for a coffee because you feel like crap because he ate too fast. Now you’ve got some reflux. like all, you know, it’s like a cascade of events where if you just put your hand on your heart and you take a few deep breaths, now you’re in that parasympathetic mode. Now you can digest your food.

Now you can eat, can go for a walk and guess what? You’re probably not gonna overeat because now you’ve established that brain connection to your stomach. So you’re actually gonna stop when you feel satisfied and you’re eating slowly and really paying attention to those first few bites of food and all change happens in the present moment. So when people say, I want it in this much time, it’s like, well, eight weeks is gonna come but guess what? If you practice,

who you want to be in eight weeks, if you practice that now, and if every time you make a decision around food or movement or meditation or mindset, if every time you make that decision is the action I’m about to take now in alignment with the future self that I want to become, and that answer is no, then maybe you need to make a different decision or ask yourself, you know, it’s like we’re constantly living in the future and living in the past, but the present moment was where all the power is.

Melissa Aarskaug (30:02.503)
Yep.

Melissa Aarskaug (30:09.431)
Yeah, no, I agree. think, you know, kind of two things I think of too is, you know, how you’re living in your 20s, 30s, and your 40s is really how you’re gonna live in your 50s, 60s, and 70s. So if you’re stressed out, you’re not eating, you know, you’re drinking a lot, it’s gonna, you’re gonna have to spend your 50s, 60s, and 70s cleaning yourself up for your earlier years. And I think, you know, just like,

being a leader, nobody wakes up being a great leader. You you practice, you make mistakes, you develop, you get better. And it’s the same thing with nutrition and wellness. It’s not like, you know, I remember when I first started sitting in quiet, I couldn’t sit for 60 seconds with like, without thinking about this or that, or, I got to do this, or I got an itch here, I got to move the pillow this way or that way. And I think the more we practice it, and they’re more like, okay, I probably should have had

Ariel (30:42.016)
Mm-hmm.

Melissa Aarskaug (31:05.567)
one of those cookies, not two of those cookies, or I should have gotten up and done my 10 squats. And just, you know, verbalizing it for yourself. And like you said, feeling through it with yourself is really important. And I know, you know, the mental part of it’s really important to like a lot of people are stressed out, burned out, tired. And when you’re stressed out, burned out, tired.

you end up eating, you know, fast food, quick food or drinking or you’re just not fully functioning when you’re just dead on E the car’s not moving. You know, it’s harder, it gets a lot harder when you get to that state of burnout, burnout, because like you said, your cortisol levels goes up, you know, your your fight or flight a lot of times, so you’re reacting, your hormones are involved. And so it all kind of becomes difficult.

when you get to that state. So I want to talk a little bit about actually burnout and how to, you know, know, and what to do when you get there, right. So strategies before burnout, and then kind of how to undo once you’re already there, when you’re tired, stressed, exhausted, not sleeping, all the things.

Ariel (32:24.412)
Mm hmm. Yeah, I think as far as strategy is not to get there is really being present mindful and aware of the habits of behavior engaging and, and where you may be overextending yourself because when you’re whenever we’re and it’s also perception, right? So it’s perception is reality. And there could be one the same situation to two people can have a totally different impact. And the irony is that

when you are taking care of yourself and you are in a healthy state, then something that could be extremely stressful for somebody who is not taking care of themselves is like, that’s no big deal, I can handle it. See, that goes into our performance piece of it. But preventing that burnout is just taking care of yourself, having boundaries, having a system in which you prioritize your self-care first, and then everything comes after that. And the irony is when you do that, then you perform better.

But when most of the time, when I deal with clients who are in that state of burnout, it’s because they have not prioritized themselves. And so then everything else just gets so much more chaotic and overwhelming and they start to feel like they’re like running on a treadmill and they can’t catch up. It’s like, no matter what I do, I can’t get to the end. But it’s like, what got you there to begin with? Well, that’s what you have to do a little digging on. It’s like, did you overcommit to things? Did you?

Again, did you not have boundaries? Are you a people pleaser? Are you taking on projects at work that aren’t your responsibility? I mean, there’s so many aspects to this and again, this is like each person is like their own little puzzle box but the bottom line is what people perceive as needing to put more energy in like this like my god, I just don’t have the time. I can’t make the time to if you can’t make the time to exercise.

then you can look for ways of implementing movement throughout the day until it’s important enough to you because you start to feel so much better to schedule that time in your day. I mean, I worked with Dr. Rothman at Rothman Institute. I was his dietitian, like his primary dietitian, and this man did three times the orthopedic surgeries of any other orthopedic surgeon. He ran it. He had like 30 books he had written.

Ariel (34:42.73)
was he ever, believe it or not, he was never really stressed. And he also got up every morning and ran six miles and weight trained. And he was like, this is not a, this is non-negotiable. Taking care of my body and eating healthy is not an option. And it’s when people make it an option that then they can’t manage the daily stressors of life. And when the littlest thing then can become, it’s catastrophic because your body is so whacked out at that point.

your tipping point is a lot lower. I know even though exercise and nutrition may take a little extra time or you may have to maybe not watch TV or not be on social media or whatever it is that’s eating up any of this free time, what it gives you is the resilience and the ability to do so much more. you know, I mean, that’s

Melissa Aarskaug (35:35.819)
Yes, I agree. I think that’s it’s like savings. It’s like your bank account. The more money you put into your savings account with interest on it over time, it grows, right? So the better you’re at it in your 20s, 30s and 40s, saving your money, eating right, getting your health right, the more the more money you’re going to have.

Ariel (35:41.886)
Yes. Yeah.

Melissa Aarskaug (35:59.873)
if you’re saving and the more health you’re gonna have to do all the things you want to do. And I think kind of just thinking a little bit about what you were saying, I know a lot of times people are working in a very high stress environment at work. They have a lot of pressure. Maybe they don’t get along with the people they work with. And I challenge you to think about how after you leave your work, how are you showing up in your…

your next phase of life? Or how are you showing up for yourself? Or what are you eating? What do you you know, you get off a tough call, it’s noon, it’s time for lunch. Are you eating your pre prepared lunch that you made the night before? Or are you going in the pantry and going after your kids lunch snacks or something else? And so I challenge people to pay attention to how they’re behaving as well with what they’re choosing.

And sometimes like I’ve been exercising my whole life. It’s a part of my identity. It’s a part of who I am. But there’s days that I wake up that I’m not feeling at my best and my best is to not exercise so my body can recoup and recover. And then tomorrow I could get back on it. But if I continue to drive my car without any gasoline in it, it’s gonna burn out, right. And it’s the same thing with your your health and wellness. And I think

you know, you’ll have more energy to deal with those difficult life challenges, the guy that cut you off while you’re driving. If you’re in the right health space, which includes your physical health and your mental health, it’s all in one. And it all is one puzzle piece, like you were saying, it’s connected, we’re connected, right? And so I love kind of what you were saying about

Ariel (37:37.014)
Thank

Melissa Aarskaug (37:48.065)
you know how you’re putting it together for yourself and I think you’re spot on with the gut brain connection and I think more people need to practice what that means like for me, sometimes I get so focused on the day to day and all the tasks that I forget I’m not listening to my gut that tells me like you said that I’m full or I don’t need food or I’m not that hungry I don’t need

two tacos, I can have one. And so I think the only way to, and you tell me if I’m wrong, the only way to understand that is if we stop and pause and ask ourselves, are you full? Do you need something? Or are you just doing it because it’s five o’clock and five o’clock says food, right? And so I think it’s kind of going with what you were saying a bit.

Ariel (38:31.507)
Right, right.

Yeah, I mean, there’s there’s definitely like, kind of caught head hunger, right? It’s like you were like, I just want something to eat, but I’m not really hungry. You’re just looking for food for to relieve some kind of discomfort because whenever whether it’s food, drugs, alcohol, whatever it is, whatever we are reaching for anything like that is because we want to feel better than where we are now. We’re not comfortable.

And we’re trying to appease that in the fastest way possible. And one of those ways, neuro pathways, that’s been lit up by a lot of people, especially in a culture centered around ultra processed food and with food marketing constantly like, have this, it’ll, you know, have the donut, have this, it’s like this constant, like this is gonna make you feel better. And then that’s the habit we develop. And so it really takes an intentional…

pause and that’s actually one of the things I do with my clients. It’s called the pause button mentality. Put your hand on your heart. You pause. say, okay, I know I really want that right now, but I’m going to give myself 10 minutes and then I’m going to make a decision if that’s really in my best interest. And in that 10 minutes, I made what I call the three D’s and that’s decide. No, I’m not going to have that at this moment. Distance yourself from the food. Distract yourself with something because those cravings

they’re like ocean waves and even though they feel like they’re never going to go away, they do pass and every time we allow that to pass, we build that resilience. We are creating new neural pathways where now when we’re starting to feel stressed and we’re not hungry but we’re looking something to feel better, maybe we end up stretching or we do a meditation or we look at the sun or we call our kids or we go on a walk or we do something that one of my clients got a puppy.

Ariel (40:13.174)
And she was just like, it’s like the most amazing thing. She said, I want to eat and I just pick up my dog. And all of a sudden I forget about food because that’s what we want, right? We’re just looking for that comfort. And we just, it’s just learned behaviors and any learned behavior can shift if we’re willing to look at it. But if we’re continuing to numb it and try to escape from it by taking those Zempik or taking any kind of medication to numb our ability to communicate with our body.

then you’re still gonna be there in that same situation a couple of years down the road and way worse off because of all the negative impacts that’s gonna have on your physiology, your psychology, your lean mass, your bone density, your gut health. I could go on and on and on, but it’s heartbreaking to me because what should be a labor of love has become so fear-based. Our relationship with food and movement.

should be something that we are in love with, not something that feels like another burden.

Melissa Aarskaug (41:14.337)
Yeah, and you know, you make another good point, I think it may popped into my head a lot of times, we have to get that bad doctor report to take action. But we all know somebody who’s had a bad doctor, a bad doctor report or something very traumatic in their life. So I challenge you to think about that. What if that was you instead of your friend or your colleague or somebody you know, how would you handle your health at that point? Would you?

Ariel (41:23.316)
Okay.

Melissa Aarskaug (41:41.325)
do something about it, wait for something. But we all know there’s telltale signs with our body when things are not right, whether it’s our weight or our skin or our hair or our stomachs bloated, there’s telltale. Our body is, it leaves clues for everything we’re doing.

Ariel (41:58.097)
yeah.

Melissa Aarskaug (42:01.111)
So it’s up to you to listen to the clues that your body are giving you to do something about it. And like you said, you can’t pay attention to the clues, you know, if you’re taking things to curb your appetite, or you’re not managing your stress levels, or you’re not sleeping or any of these other things. So I think, you know, just kind of in closing, I want to get kind of final thoughts or things we haven’t covered from you that you want to share with our listeners before we close up.

Ariel (42:31.062)
Yeah, I would say that I and maybe I’m a little biased because I’m a dietitian and currently also doing training. But I mean, your health is everything and your health is your foundation for everything. And I am also a very spiritual person. And I believe that this body was a divine gift and it’s my responsibility to take care of it.

And I know for myself with everything I’ve been through with my relationship with food and exercise is it’s been a blessing because my willingness to dive into that shadow and work with myself brought me to this whole new level of love that I have for myself and a relationship with myself now that when I’m making the decisions that are in my best interest, it feels like the right decision. It’s hard for me to make a decision that

would lead to ill health. And the other thing is I really am so passionate about like, I don’t know, I have a daughter and I want to model a strong, empowered, healthy, vibrant, successful woman. I do not want to model a burned out, know, dragging myself around, popping a pill to control my weight, not moving, not really showing her all of the important things

that she needs to implement at foundational level in order to thrive. And I mean, we, our children, they model what we do, not what we say. And so if we’re gonna change this next generation and we’re gonna change the trajectory of the health in this culture, which is absolutely frightening, 93 % of Americans have some kind of metabolic disease or some kind of ill health, and that’s only increasing.

We’re gonna be at 80 % obesity here pretty soon. We really have to start taking this seriously and stop accepting the message that our bodies are defective. Our bodies are divinely designed when we live in alignment with nature and we build that foundation. And it’s just amazing what we can accomplish. And even if it feels overwhelming at first.

Ariel (44:49.92)
Just remember everything we want and everybody who’s an executive or in leadership development knows this is outside of your comfort zone. So it’s time to step outside of your comfort zone and what you’ve been doing in your relationship with nutrition and movement and looking at, okay, what are the steps I can take today that are manageable, that push me a little bit, but I know I can do them. And then you build on that. And then again, staying in that present moment and not getting into that

perfectionistic, like I love what you said, you know, not getting into that black and white mentality. It’s like I tell clients, if you are on the highway speeding and you got pulled over, would you get back on that and you got a ticket? Would you get back on the highway and go, well, I’m just going to see how many tickets I can get. Right. But people do that with food. Right. And so it’s like every decision we make has a snowball effect. So where do you want that snowball to roll? And are you willing to give yourself the time?

Melissa Aarskaug (45:36.653)
Yep.

Ariel (45:46.166)
compassion and love to let this be truly a journey because the connection you can build with yourself will then reflect in every aspect of your life.

Melissa Aarskaug (46:00.599)
Yeah, I agree. I think thank you so much, Ariel for being here today and sharing your knowledge and wisdom. I love the tips and tricks you’ve sent and shared with our listeners. And please connect with her follow her she’s a has all kinds of information about health and wellness. And that’s the executive connect podcast.

Ariel (46:06.015)
Welcome.