Summary

Join Whitney Faires, founder of Whitney Faires Coaching, on the Executive Connect podcast as she shares her Excellence Equation framework to empower high-achieving leaders. Learn how to navigate career transitions, lead through uncertainty, and prioritize self-care for lasting success.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Coaching and Development
02:11 The Excellence Equation Framework
07:39 Leading Through Change and Uncertainty
11:39 Transitioning from Individual Contributor to Manager
15:08 Customized Coaching Strategies
23:47 The Importance of Self-Care
29:10 Accountability in Personal and Professional Growth
33:19 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Transcript

Melissa Aarskaug (00:01.674)
Welcome to the Executive Connect podcast. Today we’re honored to have Whitney Ferris with us.

Whitney Faires (00:24.027)
Yeah, thanks for having me, Melissa. I’m excited to chat about coaching and development.

Melissa Aarskaug (00:30.158)
Could you share what inspired you to be an executive coach from your previous roles?

Whitney Faires (00:48.699)
Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, I have had such a fortunate career in the perspective that from the perspective that I’ve had some really great mentors and leaders and I different, you you we all hit those different points in our career where we think, wow, I mean, I’m really proud of what I’ve done or I finally made it to be a people leader and whatever that may be. And I was always found myself looking back at the individuals that really shaped my career, realizing

I wouldn’t be here without all of the investment that they poured into me. And so as I started growing in my career and leading teams, I found I was constantly being sought out as a mentor and someone who was, know, others were coming to for guidance. And I realized that for high achievers, they are so hungry to be their very best. And when they get there, the bar raises or, you know, they had this formula for success in their career.

And then all of a sudden they have a family and they have to shuffle and make it all work again and that’s change. Or they get a different role and it challenges their skill sets and it’s like, okay, we gotta go back and rebuild some skills and develop into a new version of ourselves professionally. And I really wanted to be a catalyst for growth in those individuals. And I’ve had such a great corporate career. I am so fortunate for it.

Melissa Aarskaug (02:06.318)
So,

Whitney Faires (02:11.805)
And it was hard to leave the corporate world, but I was running towards something where I felt I could maximize my impact and do for others what have it done for me. And that was just really meaningful work.

Melissa Aarskaug (02:24.033)
I love that. I think there’s so much in what you just said. think, first of all, kudos to having great mentors because

That is the way we propel our careers forward and thrive in all aspects of our life. secondly, second kudos for you now turning the tables and paying it back for other people. I think that’s really special to hear. Now you’ve developed a framework called the executive equation that helps leaders achieve their goals. Can you walk us through what that framework is?

Whitney Faires (02:56.689)
Yeah, yeah, well, I’ll make one tweak. It’s an excellence equation. So it’s all about helping people take really audacious goals. I’m not talking about I want to be the sales rep of the year or I want to hit my goals in my current job. We’re talking they have a vision for their career or a big milestone that feels really overwhelming, challenging, uncertain.

And this excellence equation gives them eight steps to think through to enable them to take the idea all the way through execution with one really critical component along the entire framework. And that’s managing their mindset. And let’s be honest, like we have goal setting frameworks that are setting smart goals. There’s many different goal frameworks. This is much bigger. This is about how do we work with intention?

build a plan based on our strengths and our weaknesses and the gaps that we need to close to get to our end result and do it while not feeling burnt out like we’re constantly failing and be able to really try to enjoy the process as we go through it and have purpose in the actions that we do. So really the excellence equation starts at getting anchored in your purpose. Why is this goal so meaningful? Because let’s be honest,

We all have these great goals. We would say, I’d love to have that job, but do we really want it? Does it mean something to us? Does it mean something so that when it gets hard and we have setbacks, we are willing to push through? We’re like, there’s no question. We’re going to find our way around this obstacle. So I help them first get anchored in their purpose. And then I give them some different exercises to evaluate their readiness for that goal. And the truth is, if you’re setting big goals, you’re not totally ready.

If you work smart, you can close the development gaps to help you get there. And then it starts getting into the nitty gritty of, okay, how do I commit to this goal, work strategically through my actions, not just be busy or try to do everything, but know the things that are gonna propel me forward. How do I manage my mindset by doing that? And then we go through resilience as the next component and being able to really flip the switch to

Whitney Faires (05:21.381)
navigate resilience and be at our best as often as possible. And then hopefully you’re there. You’re getting progress. You’re reaching the end state, that milestone that you’ve been chasing. And then I say, all right, we’re there. Or maybe we were close and we missed a little, but we had a lot of success. Let’s reflect. Let’s learn from that whole experience. Let’s grow.

And that’s the last step of future fulfillment. it’s kind of hard to break down all eight components. I’m just giving you a feel, but it goes from what’s my purpose? What’s my why? How am I going to get there? Then you’re just going through the mud, you’re confronting adversity, and then you start to make that progress. And at the end, we look back and we think of what we’re proud of and where we grow.

Melissa Aarskaug (06:06.498)
Yeah, and I think the key component with that is you have a plan. I think a lot of times, you know, we start down this path of moving up in our career. Maybe we want to be an executive and we decide we want to do that. And we’re just starting out with executive in mind. Well, it doesn’t just happen by thinking I’m going to be an executive. There needs to be a plan. So kind of what you were talking about, resilience is something that’s going to be required.

Whitney Faires (06:25.459)
Right.

Melissa Aarskaug (06:33.368)
as you move up a corporate ladder, there’s gonna be some struggles, there’s gonna be some changes. And so I know right now, I see it so much online. There’s a lot of uncertainty. A lot of people are questioning, do I wanna go up the ladder? Do I like the role I’m in? There’s a lot of changes in our government. There’s technology disruptions with AI.

The workplace is so much different than it used to be. So how can leaders effectively lead their teams through change? I find a lot of times people onboard people, they get them going and then they’re leaving a year later. So they’re kind of in this constant reactionary reacting to what happens as a leader versus like you were saying, making a plan, working the plan.

and then adjusting as life happens. So let’s talk about how leaders can manage teams while keeping their teams happy and driving whatever the business need is.

Whitney Faires (07:39.868)
yet you nailed it that our world is so full of change and uncertainty in every aspect. And so that’s the reality that we’re living in. And as leaders and as individuals, but for all of us who lead teams and organizations, is a time to step up and lead in a bigger way. Now you have to be smart about how you do that. And I think that the first thing when you’re leading through uncertainty or change is how can you be a human first?

We can’t just stand up and say, okay, we know this is happening. We’re gonna move through it. Let’s go. I mean, people have real feelings. There are real implications of a lot of different things that you may be leading through in your organization. So it’s listening. It’s understanding people’s concerns so that they see you as approachable and as a sounding board that they can come to when they are maybe uneasy about what they do next or how they’re feeling about a situation.

So you gotta be human first. That’s critical for leaders that are trusted and inspire others. I think second is we have to be able to paint a vision that helps people see what’s on the other side. Now, do we always know what’s on the other side? No, but oftentimes we can help people see that as we move through this adversity, we will become stronger. There is opportunity. So it depends what the thing is that you’re leading through.

But how do we create a vision for how we’re gonna work through this uncertainty or change in the value that’s on the other side? I always say on the other side of struggle is strength. And I think that as leaders, we have to be able to highlight that for our people when we’re leading them through that. lastly, I would say acknowledge the uncertainty for what it is. We have to acknowledge and be able to communicate and be transparent whenever possible.

So it’s kind like what I was saying at the start about being human, but to be able to say, listen, we know that, you know, these, your company’s facing laughs, we know this is hard. We know that you all are wondering, does it affect me? Is it going to affect someone that I’m close to? This is hard stuff. And I realize this probably creates these feelings and maybe, you know, has these repercussions. But let’s talk about how we can get through this.

Whitney Faires (10:05.587)
together. Here’s what I know. Here’s what I can share. And here are the other things that I’m going to bring to you as I get more information. So I think people feel more confident when they know, OK, they’re giving me what they can. They’re working side by side with me. And they realize how hard this is. And they’re committed to being my partner in this process, not the person that’s sitting in the ivory tower just like, I’m going to be good. So you guys just get through it. So does that answer your question?

Melissa Aarskaug (10:35.049)
Yeah, I think it’s great. I think about my own career journey as a manager when you’re talking about this. I’ve managed people for over 20 years and one of the most asked question or most set goal is I’m an individual contributor today and I want to be a manager of people. And so I want to talk about this shift of, you know,

I wanna manage people versus I wanna do a task. And so I know Gallup has put out some staggering statistics recently and one of those statistics is 50 % of employees that are leaving a company right now are leaving because of their managers or what’s going on as it pertains to their role. So how can companies prepare their leaders from moving from individual contributors

to a manager of people, I find that it’s not something that you can just like one day have a individual contributor and the next day I’m a manager of people. So can you talk a little bit about.

Whitney Faires (11:39.826)
Yeah, well, I will say this is the number one thing I help companies with when I run development programs is how to train their people leaders because the tendency for companies is we’ve hired great talent. There’s a reason why this person is a high performer. They’ve delivered in multiple jobs. They’re going to walk into that manager role and they’re going to figure it out. They have a great role model, you know, as their leader today and their next boss is going to be even better. They got this and

Melissa Aarskaug (11:58.769)
you

Whitney Faires (12:08.271)
Leading people is a different skill set. There are some transferable skills and business knowledge, absolutely. But there is art and science to being both a manager and a leader. And those are two different things, by the way. Oftentimes, we become managers first. We manage the business. Then we step into managing the people. A leader is different. That’s next level. They are scaling results. They are influencing, inspiring, building, you know,

career paths that bring value to the people in the organization. So the answer to your question, I had to get on my soapbox for a minute because I’m very passionate about this topic. The answer to your question is we all have ownership, both the individual contributor moving into that role and the company for creating success as that person moves from an IC to a people leader. So as an individual contributor, I have to be willing to say, hey, look, I’ve never, I’ve never.

somebody how to do a job or I’ve never coached someone who maybe is good at something but has some gaps that I need to fine tune their skills so that they’re operating the level that we expect. I’ve never really given feedback to somebody, hard feedback. I really would love to learn from you in these areas. And you know, a lot of times we have this I’m great, I’m ready persona when we’re interviewing for a job. But at some point,

We have to drop our guard just a little bit and say, hey, here are the things I really want to learn from you that I realize I have the least experience in to be able to meet your expectations as an exceptional people leader. But as companies, again, I think the primary responsibility is on us to say, how do we create a foundation of skills to enable success? Because remember, you’re only as successful as your frontline managers. If they are good, you’re going to get probably good results.

Pretty good engagement. Retention, yeah, probably pretty good. If they’re exceptional, that’s where you build people that stay for a long time and are high producers. They can either be the single point of failure, the manager, because they do all the work for the people, or they can be a multiplier. And when we train them effectively on the skills to lead teams, they become a multiplier. In our investment in a development program, whether it’s something within your organization or bringing somebody else in,

Melissa Aarskaug (14:05.742)
.

Whitney Faires (14:31.463)
The ROI is tremendous when they are leading a team in a way that drives better results.

Melissa Aarskaug (14:40.243)
Yeah, and I’m glad you mentioned coaching. I know there’s, would say since the pandemic, there’s been a ton of things about online about coaching and finding a coach that matches, you know, your personality and what you’re driving for. So I want to talk about what you do as far as customized coaching strategies for clients. Can you share a little bit about that?

Whitney Faires (15:08.785)
Yeah, so there are certainly organizations and even individual coaches like me who own their own companies that have set curriculums. We’re going to cover these five topics and we’ll weave in what’s unique to you as we go. I personally customize my package starting off with a couple discovery calls with my clients. And the first thing I want to know about my clients is, you know, I want to learn about their experiences, what they want to achieve, what they view as their development gaps.

Because my first objective is to say, I think I can help you or not. And there are some clients I say, I’m just not your person. If you went someone who has an expertise in this skill set, let me refer you. So those discovery calls help us understand what is our current state for this person as far as their skill sets, their career, and then where do they want to go. And so my job is, can I close that gap? And if the answer is yes, then we talk about how we do that.

The number one thing I start with after we commit to moving forward is an assessment. Because while we might be self-aware, there are things that we just can’t see objectively about ourselves. And so a lot of times I find my clients, they have a good sense of what they need to improve upon, but they don’t have the whole picture. And so I will do different types of feedback assessments, 360 assessments, to be able to gain insights from a broader stakeholder group.

And then to be able to then be that mirror for them to see, you know what, I guess that thing I thought I was good at, I really need to improve here. Or on the contrary, they’re working really hard to improve a skill that everyone else thinks that they’re really great at. And they’re wasting their time and energy and focus on something that really they already do very well. And so we come out of that assessment with a solid plan of the two or three areas we’re gonna work.

And the most of my coaching is a blend of working on those skill gaps and also weaving in some of their business scenarios that come up day to day where they want to unpack to figure out how they grow from those, how they proceed with those challenging scenarios. And it’s just a blend of that. And it’s very customized to each and every person.

Melissa Aarskaug (17:25.164)
I love that. think it’s interesting. I had a friend of mine who was given a career coach from her employer to work through different things and

this career coach was a technical career coach and she was in a sales role. And so she was getting coaching in a completely different area than she needed. So I think kind of what I hear you saying is you want to first understand if the mentor mentee relationship is working first and if it’s the right fit before you go down the path of coaching because

And I also kind of second to that, I love that you talked about 360 review because a lot of times as leaders, like you said, we think we’re really good at something, but when we talk to other people that we manage or peers around us, the things we think we might be good at, other people might say, yeah, no, not great at that. And it gives us clues from other people that can help us become better.

in our corporate position or even socially or professionally or not professionally, personally in our lives. I think there’s a lot of clues in doing a 360 review. So I think that’s a really good point is making sure you’re getting feedback and areas that you may not be great at. So you can work those areas versus maybe you’re a fantastic salesperson. You have a 90 % closing ratio and you’re trying to get that.

extra 10 % versus getting better in other areas. Is really worth getting that much better versus getting better in other areas? So I love that you brought that up.

Whitney Faires (19:12.265)
Yeah, and I will tell you that a 360, it gives people an opportunity to see themselves through the eyes of others. And that’s really powerful. Oftentimes, I’m spending just as much time on their strengths and helping them see, is how you’re viewed. And sometimes when we’re being really hard on ourselves and we think that we should be performing differently or better or showing up in a certain way,

we get the opportunity to really see what people value about us. And that’s great. I mean, how often do we don’t walk around every day and get tons of praise, even high performers. We just don’t, right? So we get to see all of the positives and how we’re bringing value and contributing as well as those development areas. And I really look at it as a coach’s job is to help create the story for the person.

And by piecing together their insights, 360s, I do a lot of stakeholder interviews too. So with their direct reports, with their business partners, with their leader, and we get this really comprehensive story that we can then work from. And it gives us a very empowered place to decide how we spend our time and where we want to go.

Melissa Aarskaug (20:07.15)
.

Melissa Aarskaug (20:24.758)
Yeah, I love that. I got some really good career feedback through a 360 review once from people that I was managing where they said, you know, I

Centers I think better later nights or on the weekend. So I would do some of my work on the weekends and send it to my direct reports. The feedback I got Whitney was we can’t work as many hours with Melissa. So she’s sending us something on Saturday. We feel compelled to work on Saturday. And that feedback has helped me a long time in my career where now I think before I send the emails, do I need to respond at 11 o’clock at night?

or on a Saturday, because how it’s received on the other end, it’s not that I’m expecting them to action that on a Saturday, it’s I’m getting it out of my brain into their brain on a Monday when they come back. But that feedback really helped me work through working late hours and making sure I’m not sending emails late at night or I’m not doing it on the weekends. so,

know that or realize that until I did exactly what you said, a 360 review.

Whitney Faires (21:38.472)
got that same feedback, that same feedback from my from my direct reports where they said, you know, you talked to us about having work life balance and about managing our priorities and Ruth, I always call it ruthless prioritization. And, but you’re sending emails at night, you’re sending emails on a Saturday. And, you know, they felt like the expectation was the same for them. And it was, it was one of those moments where I was so disheartened that I had made somebody

question when they got an email on a Saturday that I thought they should respond. But at the same time, was such a great learning because I thought now it’s about it’s not that I don’t do that, but I explained to people, hey, here’s how I work best. And that’s going to mean that if I’m on a flight and I don’t get home till 11, I’m going to probably work on that flight. I don’t expect you to work at 9pm. I’m on a flight. I’m not working at nine typically when I’m home with my family. And on a Saturday, if I get an hour to just knock out emails uninterrupted,

That’s on me. There’s no expectation for that. But you know, we don’t know those things. And some of them are not just gonna be like, did you want me to respond on Saturday? They’re not, you know, oftentimes. it’s good stuff.

Melissa Aarskaug (22:44.738)
Right. Yeah. Yeah, it takes a lot of.

know, courage to even ask some of those questions to a boss, right? Cause A, if, you know, it’s perceived the wrong way, they could risk, you know, their role at that and that, at that company or working for that manager. And I’m so glad you mentioned something, cause I wanted to talk about self care. I know I get asked a lot to speak on self care because it has always been something forward and focused for me in my career because several of my,

senior mentors and friends had not focused on self care. So I was able to learn really young how important it is to take care of ourselves so we can not only take care of our companies, but our families and all the other parts of our life. So I want to get your perspective on self care and the impacts you’re having with your clients in that capacity.

Whitney Faires (23:47.848)
Yeah, mean, self care is really critical because in the world that we live in, technology is everywhere. mean, there’s Zoom chat, text, email, you’re on social media, things pop up. I mean, it’s hard to disconnect. And I think that it’s very taxing mentally for people. And there’s a lot of companies, there’s a feeling that, hey, well, I mean, you got the phone in your hand that we pay for, so I mean, could you respond? So boundary setting and knowing

Melissa Aarskaug (24:02.062)
So.

Whitney Faires (24:16.753)
what you need is very important. And here’s the reality. No one can define that for you. What works for me may seem crazy to someone else and what someone on my team need, I may think, wow, that’s interesting. I would have never thought about that as being part of self care. So one of the things I do with my clients and I also talk about my development programs is how do you get into your power zone? And your power zone,

The exercise I take them through is knowing your activators, knowing the things that get you into the place where you are at your best mentally, physically, and emotionally. And a big component of those activators are the things in that self-care bucket, right? For me, it’s like, I am going to work out every day. It is critical to my mental wellbeing, to being in the right mindset, to feeling good.

to my diet, like when I work out, I’m just more disciplined altogether. So that’s like a big one for me. And so I help people go through this exercise where they talk about what are their activators to recreate that power zone as much as possible, where you feel at your best, you are empowered, you’re ready for anything. And then what are the depletors? Because as much as you wanna know what are the things that help you be at your best, you have to have that awareness to the things that…

really quickly drain your energy and take you into a place where you maybe are emotional and a little bit fragile or you aren’t physically where you need to to be great in your week. And so it’s that self-discovery process of helping them gain that sense of awareness so that they can then define, okay, here’s what self-care looks like for me. Here’s what being at my best looks for me. Now, how do I put that into action? Because knowing it,

Melissa Aarskaug (25:57.039)
So,

Whitney Faires (26:11.547)
and doing it are two different things. And so I typically say to people, you have to have your non-negotiables. And does that mean you never break them? No. Like there, I’d love to have eight hours of sleep a night. I don’t always get there, right? But what are the things that are your top priority? Then what are the things that you really want to have as far as self-care? And I say, I want to weave those in. I want to have one or two of those in each and every day or every week.

And so there’s the knowing and then there’s the doing and they’re two distinct things. And I try to be a source of accountability. And of course they don’t have me forever as a coach, but they need, you we each need to find our own source of accountability on self-care because it’s easy to get pulled into a lot of different things. And all of a sudden, you know, the people around us can see us slipping a little bit.

a little sooner than we’re probably willing to raise the flag and be like, got to stop. I’m not in good spot.

Melissa Aarskaug (27:09.23)
Yeah, and let’s unpack that a little bit, because I think there’s things we can share that would be helpful. So accountability partner is your coach, but outside of your coach, like you were saying, you, you might be married and you might have to talk to your spouse and significant other and say, hey, I need to exercise in the morning. Do you mind getting the kids going or, hey, I’m going to go after work to go exercise. Do you mind starting dinner? So accountability is

an action from my perspective, we’ve got to put our own rules in play in our life. And then we’ve got to be connected to ourselves as well. yesterday, I was back to back from literally before the sun was up all day. And I, I shut my computer down, I literally laid on my office floor for five minutes. And my husband walked in, he’s like, Are you alive? Are you okay? What’s going on?

And because I just stopped and I’m like, I knew my body was too much electronics, too much zoom. had so many file folders open in my mind. I needed 10 minutes. I literally took my pillow in my office. I laid on the floor for five minutes and I just stopped everything. And I’m like, okay, what I doing? What do I need? And I think like you were saying, get an accountability partner.

And then outside of that, have to have accountability to yourself and you’ve got to be aware of how you’re feeling. So if you get off a call and you’re like, you can’t remember what you were doing and you know, you’re going for something, you know, you shouldn’t be eating or your reactionary. Those are cues that something’s not right. And so you need to stop and set, you know, yourself up for the next step. And so.

Whitney Faires (28:40.359)
Nice.

Melissa Aarskaug (29:05.123)
I love what you said about accountability. I want to get any other kind of thoughts on that.

Whitney Faires (29:10.353)
Yeah, well, I’ve been there on that office floor. I usually text my husband like, hey, I need 10 minutes. He’s like, why are you on the floor? And I’m like, because if I sit on the couch, I will fall asleep. I’m trying to decompress, not fall asleep. I got stuff to do. So this is a break. So I love that because I do it too. But let me tell you about my, let’s call it 26 year old self.

I was in a very fast-paced company. was in sales, trying to create my brand, make a name. Some of the employees were saying, gosh, the work-life balance is just really hard here. It got bubbled up to our leaders and we were at a leadership meeting. The VP of Sales said, we’ve been getting feedback on this. Here’s my advice to you, is that the only person that can

control your work-life balance is you. You have to own it. I can’t create more work-life balance for you. And my 26 year old self was like, that’s kind of an excuse. Like you’re the ones asking us to drive the number and do these things in the sales process. And it honestly took me probably two years to figure out that he was right. He was right because we are grownups. It is our job to say,

You know, I can do two of these three things that are expected of me. What are the two highest value things? And be confident in our decision making and know that if we do all three, we’re likely choosing quantity over quality. And that is one of the biggest misses that we make is that we think doing and we’ve done it all, like we’ve checked the box. That actually hurts our results and hurts us. And so that ownership piece is real.

You have to know what you need. You have to have support systems in place, yourself and others, but then you have to own it. And that ownership mentality is where I think people, it’s a pivot point for people being really successful and being able to maintain it over time.

Melissa Aarskaug (31:20.111)
Yeah, and look, we can always make more calls, send more emails, do a better job on a PowerPoint. And as a recovering perfectionist that could constantly tune and tweak and, you know, change the lettering on a PowerPoint, at some point you got to let go and let it be because

If you’re going to, you know, drive sales, for example, does it really matter that the PowerPoint has the perfect font size or, you know, the perfect exact wording on it? Probably not. Maybe, but probably not. And so those hours, three hours, 30 minutes, all those, that time can be clawed back into other things like exercising, you know, meditating, getting a massage, whatever your decompresses from.

your life, but any executive of any age, of any background needs to know how to decompress themselves and what are those things. For me, it’s completely separate than my husband, separate than some of my friends. A lot of my friends like to run marathons. As a previous runner and now in my forties, I am not doing Ironmans and running man.

and all these running things anymore. I like yoga. It’s my decompress. It’s what I do. So knowing that about yourself, because if I were to do running marathons, it could potentially hurt me more than decompress in my life. So knowing that about yourself and what you’re capable of doing is super, super important as you try to figure out that work-life integration.

for yourself and what works with your family.

Whitney Faires (33:08.808)
Yeah, I agree.

Melissa Aarskaug (33:11.404)
I want to kind of get in closing any final thoughts or anything you want to share with our listeners that we didn’t cover today.

Whitney Faires (33:19.433)
Yeah, I could talk for hours, but then no one would listen. So I’ll keep it brief. The foundation of my work is that I believe everyone has untapped potential. And I think if we’re honest, most of us know that deep down inside. We have this, I like to call it the silent dream. It’s a thing that you’re like, what if I could be that executive? Or I just.

so much admire this person and how they carry themselves and they command the room. And I would just love to be able to do that like her. And oftentimes we get in our own way. We convince ourselves that that’s too hard or we’re not that good or you know there’s such a risk of failure or maybe chasing after that is selfish. So I’m just going to be grateful for what I have. And I’m here to say chase it.

Chase it. You know, even if you can’t afford to hire a coach, surround yourself with your advocates. And the worst that happens is maybe you don’t get the result that you want, but you get a heck of a lot of growth and resilience and you’ll be better for it. And so I tell people all the time when I had this vision for transitioning from, you know, to be a coach someday, I mean, this was like,

2017 that I had this vision. And here I was on maternity leave with my second child. So I had an infant in a newly turned two-year-old. And I just kept having this idea of being able to take my skills and impact more people through coaching and development. And I was doing all this research. How would I become a coach? I got to go to school for like a year. At the time, there wasn’t virtual stuff like there is today. And I’m planning all out.

And I finally just wrote at the top of this paper, dream the dream, build the plan and bet on yourself in big ways. And I don’t know why I wrote it to be totally honest with you, but I think it’s because deep down I thought this keeps surfacing. And I found this paper oddly enough when I was cleaning out my office as I was making the transition to launch my company, no joke, this printed out piece of paper and this pile of

Whitney Faires (35:42.128)
stuff I was tossing. And it was so ironic to me. And it really inspired me because that’s what it’s about. We have one life and we all have so much to do to impact this world. And that impacts us. It impacts our families. models role models for our children and the people that work for us. And so go chase it. I mean, do it, do it smart, right? Don’t just be busy, but get out there and build the plan to make yourself proud.

Melissa Aarskaug (36:11.405)
I love that betting on yourself. I love that. think that’s so, you know, I,

A few weeks ago, I was on stage, Whitney, and I told this story. Everybody’s like, you’re so good on stage. And I’m like, well, that this is Melissa today that’s been practicing. Melissa, when she first started, I’ll never forget I’ve told this story before. My first presentation in front of a room, I started my presentation with my back to the audience. I was so nervous. My hand was shaking. I was.

Whitney Faires (36:29.022)
Yeah.

Melissa Aarskaug (36:44.734)
borderline ready to go to the bathroom in my pants. was so nervous and I started, I held the microphone and like kind of was shrunk down and I told everybody, said, look, I’m really nervous to be up here. I’m going to start my presentation, my back to you. And when I’m ready and I have some confidence, I’m going to turn around. The funny thing that happened is the room stood up and started clapping. And I then turned around to see what was going on. And it instantly built my confidence.

Whitney Faires (36:48.169)
Yeah

Melissa Aarskaug (37:14.57)
And so the point of that story is none of us are confident in anything that we’re setting out to do right out of the gate. We have to practice and really tune and tweak ourselves to get where we want, but we’re betting on ourselves and every day we’re getting just a little bit better and then just a little bit better and just a little bit better. And even now I have a podcast and there’s times I stutter through my questions.

I’m trying to say something, but my brain is thinking something else. But that’s the authentic part of it. And that’s the authentic part of whatever you’re going to do to make the world a better place. It’s our responsibility to hone those skills and then give that gift away. Like you were saying at the beginning, you had great mentors and now you’re compelled to pay it forward. I feel the same way. I have gifts that I’ve.

learned over the years and it’s my opportunity to give those back to others. And I’m hoping with our time today, Whitney, we inspire people to do just one thing or maybe two things if they’re overachievers. But just like you said, bet on yourself. I love that.

Whitney Faires (38:25.733)
And the only thing I’d add to that, because your story highlighted why I’m so passionate about it. It’s not even about the outcome and what you achieve. It’s about the internal transformation. And the person that stepped on that stage with their back to the stage and their hunched over is a different person than who ended that presentation. I wasn’t there, but I would guarantee that. And that’s what it’s about. The little steps you take forward, despite fear,

Right? Despite the fear that you feel, the ability to just take one step forward. Each time we do that, we build strength. We start that process of transforming who we are. And that’s what you, at the end, it’s not about I became the executive or I got the promotion. It’s about who I became in the process. And that’s my favorite part of it.

Melissa Aarskaug (39:15.74)
And that is indeed where resilience comes from.

is practicing this. And so Whitney, thank you so much for being here today and sharing your time and knowledge. How can our listeners connect with you?

Whitney Faires (39:30.853)
Yes, please find me on LinkedIn or at my website, WhitneyFerris.com. I’m sure you’ll have it in the show notes. And I’m also on Instagram at Whitney underscore Ferris. So please check out some of my content on social media and you can always find time to book with me on my website.

Melissa Aarskaug (39:49.122)
Thank you so much. That’s the Executive Connect podcast. Follow us on YouTube and LinkedIn to get the latest stories. Thank you so much for being here today.