In this episode of Executive Connect, Melissa Aarskaug sits down with Victoria Pelletier, executive leader, transformation strategist, and globally recognized leadership voice, to explore how adversity can become a competitive advantage. Victoria shares lessons from leading large organizations, navigating nearly forty mergers and acquisitions, and building a powerful personal brand rooted in authenticity.

From healthy resilience and inclusive leadership to culture transformation and executive identity, this conversation offers practical insight for leaders who want to create impact that lasts.

Chapters:

(0:38) Victoria’s leadership journey and early career path
(4:06) Leading young and overcoming perception challenges
(6:58) Knowing when to pivot or move forward
(11:24) Trauma, resilience, and leadership strength
(14:05) The framework for healthy resilience
(16:31) Building a strong personal brand
(20:06) Branding mistakes high performers make
(23:15) Strategy, culture, and M&A success
(26:07) Leadership communication during transformation
(29:29) Identity and authentic leadership
(32:28) Inclusion and belonging in practice
(35:22) The cost of hiding parts of yourself
(38:18) The future of leadership and culture
(39:29) Rapid fire leadership insights
(45:08) Final reflections and connection

Victoria

(0:00) The fourth is around having a really strong community around you, not only who encourage you and support you, those who will tell you about your blind spots, who will be, you know, radically candid with you, brutally honest, if you will, to, you know, help you on that journey, but ultimately they’ll support you. (0:17) And the last step is giving yourself permission to fail. (0:21) For me, being resilient and the performance aspect was a level of perfection I expected and that in itself created issues.

(0:29) And so learning that, you know, it fit failures, progress, and one foot in front of the other is as well and giving myself permission for that.

Melissa

(0:38) What happens when you mix resilience forged in trauma, unstoppable drive and a refusal to live by excuses. (0:48) You get Victoria Pettier, an executive who’s became a CEO, excuse me, a COO at 24 led through nearly 40 M&A transactions and built a reputation as a dynamic force in leadership and transformation, recognized globally as a top LGBTQ leader and an award-winning executive. (1:16) Victoria proves that adversity doesn’t just define you, it equips you.

(1:21) Today, she’s going to share what it takes to build resilience, shape personal brands and co-create the future of leadership and culture. (1:31) Welcome Victoria. (1:33) Thank you for having me.

(1:34) Happy to be here. (1:36) Now your career has spanned executive leadership at companies like IBM and American Express, plus roles as a COO, president and CEO all before you hit your stride. (1:51) Can you share how you helped shape this portfolio career and what your journey has taught you about leadership?

Victoria

(1:59) Yeah, sure. (2:00) Well, the first thing I’ll say to your listeners is that this wasn’t the planned corporate career. (2:07) I thought I was going to be a lawyer.

(2:10) And while I was doing my undergrad, I worked in a bank and got promoted through the ranks quite quickly into leadership. (2:16) And what I thought was taking one year off before I was going to go to law school, never happened. (2:22) I realized I love the corporate world, the complexity that it created, the leadership role that I was in.

(2:29) And so I stayed with where I was thriving. (2:32) So that was not part of the plan. (2:35) But through a strong focus on performance, the things that I could control, making myself relevant, building the skills for future, having a strong personal brand, being the kind of leader I would want to work for, I have been able to now lead 25 years.

(2:53) I got recruited at a banking into the world of professional services about 25 or 26 years ago. (2:58) And I’ve worked in professional services from managing either divisions of markets or whole businesses. (3:07) And as you mentioned in my introduction, everything from a chief operating officer to president of a company to CEO of a data and analytics company.

(3:17) And always a side hustle, by the way. (3:20) I’ve never not done something on the side as part of, as you said, portfolio career. (3:24) I built it all the way along.

(3:26) So by the time I’m ready for it to be full time, my career portfolio, it’s already there for me.

Melissa

(3:31) Ready to lead smarter and invest wiser? (3:34) On the Executive Connect podcast, we unpack executive strategies for wealth and influence. (3:41) Hit the subscribe button now.

(3:44) Don’t just watch, act. (3:46) I love it. (3:47) I love your story because so many similarities in it.

(3:50) And one of the things I love about your story is how young you were. (3:55) So I’m curious, was there ever a moment when you were too young or too different where it actually worked against you? (4:02) And how did you respond to that?

Victoria

(4:06) Yeah, I started working at age 11. (4:09) By 14, I was promoted to my first leadership role. (4:12) I was the assistant manager, I should say, of the shoe store I worked at while I was in high school.

(4:18) And even in that first role, I was leading people who were 10 or 20 years older than me. (4:26) So I experienced it at 14 to that first executive role at 24. (4:32) So not only was I the youngest executive by two decades, I was also the only woman.

(4:39) And so I felt that I had to. (4:43) I’m going to own some of the way in which I showed up. (4:46) I thought I needed to appear to be all business all the time, no emotion, no vulnerability.

(4:53) As a young female executive, I didn’t want to appear weak. (4:58) And so I showed up in a particular way that later got me the nickname as the Iron Maiden. (5:02) So I had to pivot.

(5:04) I had to learn to be, I said earlier, I wanted to be the kind of leader I’d want to work for. (5:09) So I had to shift. (5:10) But that came from being and feeling like I was the only because I was so young.

(5:15) And then subsequently, I’ve been questioned. (5:17) I think I got relocated the first time I was originally from Canada. (5:20) And I remember I got relocated to New York in my late 20s, running all of our North American operations.

(5:27) And I had one of the other executives who reported directly into me was probably close to 60 and spent her entire career in that particular industry where I was new. (5:38) And so everything was questioned in that capacity. (5:40) So I needed to lean into the leadership piece, learn to talk about our differences and how we would leverage them to do well together.

Melissa

(5:48) And I love that. (5:49) I think hearing you say that gives me goosebumps, because I know there’s so many of us that had to put on, I call it armor. (5:57) We had to armor up every day to appear the way that we were best received.

(6:01) And whether it was, you know, a protection mechanisms, a way to protect ourselves, (6:08) a way to be likable, or just the way we were trying to be in that community is something that (6:14) we know now, as the older we get, and the more we sit in leadership roles, (6:18) that being our authentic self and setting in, you know, our feminine and our masculine working (6:24) together, not just the way we receive, we show up and we’re a better leader for it. (6:31) And I think that perspective, similar to you, has made me a better leader, because I didn’t want to be like some of those other leaders were towards me.

(6:40) So I love that you said that. (6:42) I think there’s so much truth in all of that. (6:44) Now, how do you decide when it’s time to stay and build versus move on to your next thing or evolve into something else?

Victoria

(6:58) I’ve been, some might not say it, fortunate. (7:01) I believe fortunate to have been a part of so many different kinds of transformations that it’s allowed me the opportunity to build, to do something different in those 40 plus mergers, acquisitions, divestitures. (7:16) Many of those were either companies I bought or sold for myself or for the companies I work for.

(7:22) And the rest have all been for the clients that I’ve supported in my professional services capacity. (7:26) And in doing so, it’s allowed me to make some decisions and sometimes architect my exit to go on and do new and different things. (7:34) So I have moved around every few years in my career.

(7:38) The longest I’ve ever worked at any one organization is maybe six or seven years. (7:42) And that was early in my career did I do that. (7:45) And the decision for that for me is I am far from a status quo type of person.

(7:52) I like challenge. (7:54) I thrive in chaos. (7:57) And so I love the transformation side of things.

(8:00) So if I ever get bored, I look to do something different. (8:05) Ideally, I would like to do that within the organization I’m in. (8:08) And I’m fortunate that I worked for, as you said, many fortune 500 companies and that it’s afforded me the opportunity to move around within.

(8:15) But oftentimes it’s come externally as well. (8:18) And so I’ve jumped on those. (8:20) And if any of your listeners will go and look at my LinkedIn profile, you might not think it’s like this linear move.

(8:26) Yes, professional services, but everything from pure call center outsourcing to I spent a decade doing corporate running corporate travel businesses to human capital businesses to technology companies. (8:40) There’s a commonality to it, but learning new and different is what gets me excited and why I look to thrive. (8:48) And the last thing I’ll state is advice I give to many.

(8:51) I’m not always as good taking it for myself. (8:54) When you’re in a difficult situation, learn to control what you can control. (8:59) How can you change?

(9:00) If you are unhappy in your role with your leader, with the organization, what can you do to change that situation? (9:06) And then if you cannot, after you’ve invested effort to make those changes, if it’s just not working, then at that point, it’s likely time to make a change.

Melissa

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(9:42) Just visit moneyripples.com forward slash secrets and enter the promo code E X E C. (9:53) I love that. (9:54) And interestingly enough, when you said when I get bored, I think the times that I’ve gotten bored in my career, I stopped growing.

(10:03) And so when I’m bored, I know that it’s a sign that I’m going to stop growing. (10:07) And instead of stopping that growth, I need to pivot and really using boredom as a symptom for redirection. (10:15) So I love that.

(10:16) And then kind of secondly, back in my career, I always felt that in my early 20s that I was the odd duck because I never got to do just one thing. (10:27) I had friends that were just engineers or just doctors or just marketers. (10:32) And kind of to what your point is, is you’ve been kind of the Swiss army knife has so many things.

(10:37) What’s really left you dangerous in so many ways to pivot and change direction. (10:44) And so I love you sharing that because I think that’s a really fantastic piece of advice is expand what you know. (10:52) So if you’ve never done this one thing, try it and get a different perspective.

(10:57) So I love that you brought that up. (10:59) I want to switch gears to talk a little bit about you’ve said resilience at the core of who you are. (11:05) Boredom experience in your early life that could have stopped many people in their tracks.

(11:10) Sorry, you said resilience is at the core of who you are. (11:14) Excuse me for that. (11:14) How do those moments shape you and strengthen you and help you with agility as a leader?

Victoria

(11:24) Sadly, I’ve learned resilience because I’ve suffered pretty significant trauma and adversity in my life. (11:32) And I believe you have a choice in how you are going to respond to that. (11:37) You can’t prevent all of the challenge or adversity that comes your way, but you do have the choice in how you’re going to respond to it.

(11:44) And so learning how to channel the challenge, adversity, trauma into a place where I moved from trauma to thriving has been a choice for me. (11:57) But it’s helped me significantly in life, in business, in learning how to deal with the chaos around me, those mergers and acquisitions, the troubled business units and how to turn them around. (12:10) So dealing with those kind of challenging situations and challenging it for good and positive and growth has helped me significantly.

(12:22) So I would say resilience is at the core for me, who I am, how I lead in business. (12:30) Interestingly, much like the showing up with the armor and showing up with no vulnerability and emotion hurt me, as I said. (12:42) My early way of being resilient was to not process, not talk about some of what had occurred with me, in part because I actually didn’t want anyone to look down or look differently at me because of it.

(12:56) But it’s a superpower. (12:58) And so I realized when I started to bridge together what’s made me resilient, what’s (13:03) made me who I am, my why, coupled with the stories, the vulnerability and the emotion, (13:10) such power has come out of that in terms of the level of connection relationships I’ve (13:16) built with the people, the trust that’s come from that, and in many cases, lifelong friendships (13:22) now that came out of a work environment into real life.

Melissa

(13:28) And I love that you said that because in a world that’s becoming so much more transactional, being a leader that shows up to understand your employee as it pertains to their jobs and their roles and driving company vision and values, but also understanding who they are, where they want to go, what are their career aspirations, what are their constraints, what are they struggling with? (13:50) You’re getting people to lean in to do the same for you and show up to work in a different capacity. (13:55) So I love that.

(13:57) Now talk to me a little bit about what resilience looked like early on in your career versus what resilience looks like today.

Victoria

(14:05) Yeah, it very much early on meant I just sort of plowed through whatever it was that it occurred. (14:14) Get up, dust myself off, move forward. (14:17) I wouldn’t say there was enough processing the adversity or the challenge and how it impacted me in future.

(14:26) So that’s where I needed to learn what I refer to as healthy resilience. (14:31) And a big part of that is I talk about it sort of in five stages or steps. (14:36) One is be clear on the goal or objective you have.

(14:39) That’s always the anchor for me personally, professionally. (14:42) We all have many of those, whether it’s a relationship, finance, business goals. (14:46) Be clear on what the goal is.

(14:47) The next is that level of self-awareness and self-reflection. (14:52) And so when I have an emotion that might come out and I look around, I’m like, oh, my gosh, where does it come from? (14:59) So looking back at the woman that stares at me in the mirror, critically to understand that.

(15:04) So that level of awareness and reflection. (15:06) The next is then modeling. (15:09) So taking action around the thoughts, the language, the actions, the behaviors that move you forward.

(15:13) The fourth is around having a really strong community around you, not only who encourage you and support you, those who will tell you about your blind spots, who will be radically candid with you, brutally honest, if you will, to help you on that journey. (15:29) But ultimately, they’ll support you. (15:31) And the last step is giving yourself permission to fail.

(15:34) For me, being resilient and the performance aspect was a level of perfection I expected for myself. (15:40) And that in itself created issues. (15:42) And so learning that failure is progress and one foot in front of the other is as well and giving myself permission for that.

Melissa

(15:52) I love that you said that because I find the biggest failures I had were where I learned the most, the quickest versus things are so smoothly. (16:01) So I do. (16:02) I love kind of learning quick and failing fast to repivot if needed.

(16:08) So I love that. (16:09) I want to talk about personal branding as your power. (16:12) You talk about personal branding, not as a buzzword, but as a driver of opportunity.

(16:19) So what does it look like to build a strong personal brand? (16:23) What does that mean for leaders navigating their own branding and complex environments today?

Victoria

(16:31) Yeah, I said, Melissa, that brand was one of the things I’d attribute career success to. (16:35) So performance and branding and networking. (16:38) It for me, I always understood that people do business with people they like and they trust.

(16:45) So even when I worked in a shoe store, you know, in high school and learning how to engage with people to sell to them to my shift from banking business consumer to business to business environment, responding to RFPs, et cetera. (17:00) I wanted to create a differentiated brand of the organization I work for. (17:05) But to the point that people do business with people, how do I create a unique value proposition around Victoria Pelletier or for my team as I coach them around it?

(17:15) How do we build a strong brand that is built around more than the credentialization of what you’ve done, where you’ve done it? (17:26) You know, people want to know the humans that they’re working with. (17:29) So for me, I focused on building a strong personal brand 25 or 26 years ago, long before I think there was a real vernacular to call it personal brand.

(17:39) And and for me, it’s four key components. (17:43) And so the one where I find everyone stops and just gets stuck, stuck is the one around the what let’s call it eminence, the your subject matter expertise, what you do, what industry you’ve done it in or what companies you’ve done it for. (17:59) Those are important for sure.

(18:02) All the learn to tell good stories about that. (18:04) But the other three components are what makes you you like the unique storytelling about you. (18:10) So for me, thriving through trauma and adversity, that’s a big part of that makes me me.

(18:15) So I’ll tell those stories. (18:17) The third component is related. (18:20) But what makes you different than people that do what you do?

(18:24) A world in professional services, you think about consulting. (18:27) There’s many people who have 10 or 15 years of consulting experience, but why would they choose to hire you versus another? (18:33) And so learn what is your unique value proposition.

(18:36) For me, the fact that I am radically candid, I’m incredibly values driven in a world of consultants who tell clients what they want to hear versus what they need to hear. (18:47) I’m a need to hear person. (18:49) I have a nickname is the CEO whisperer, but that’s because I built trust because I’m different than many.

(18:54) And then the last of those four is around legacy. (18:57) What do you want to be known for? (18:58) When I die, I’m sure they’re going to make some mention of the business work that I’ve done, mergers and acquisitions.

(19:05) But that’s not what I want them talking about. (19:07) I want them talking about the kind of human being that I was, that I made the workplaces, the community and the world at large a better place when I left it than when I came in. (19:18) Not to mention the other things that make me me.

(19:20) I’m a mother to two amazing humans, a great partner. (19:23) I have lots of friends. (19:23) I’m talking holistically about who Victoria was rather than that first piece around my job title and who I work for.

Melissa

(19:32) I love that. (19:33) And I love that you said that because it kind of I’ve made the mistake of not being out there with my brand and being, you know, what do I know that people care about knowing? (19:43) And I’ve pivoted over the last few years and it’s amazing what’s happened with just myself, my business being sought after in different ways.

(19:55) So I’m curious to get your perspective about branding mistakes that you see high performers and achievers make repeatedly.

Victoria

(20:06) I see them focus on the first part of the four parts of the brand. (20:12) So just focusing only on what they do. (20:15) And then also when it’s not just about crafting the narrative, like I would tell people you are the CEO of brand you, right?

(20:24) So you need to determine what that narrative is. (20:27) Others will do it for you otherwise. (20:29) So being really clear around orchestrating and documenting and telling stories that align to all four of those parts.

(20:38) And the other big mistake is only sharing, first of all, the content strategy. (20:44) I think I’m in a business context. (20:46) So LinkedIn will be one of the primary channels for me from a social media standpoint.

(20:51) And it’s sharing pretty much sales and marketing content only from your organization. (20:57) Then no one knows. (20:59) You could say, here’s who I am.

(21:01) Here’s who I am as a human. (21:02) Here’s what makes me different. (21:03) But if you’re not showing up that way online, if you’re only promoting your company content, like I can tell you when I look at people’s profiles and I’m connected to you that do that, I scroll right past.

(21:15) I think they’re selling me something. (21:17) I don’t want to engage with them. (21:19) So that’s one of the biggest mistakes I see people making when it comes to their brand.

Melissa

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(22:22) I noticed a company I was working for how fast their social profile is growing and an engagement, but my own brand was basically becoming their brand, which is exactly what we don’t want. (22:37) And people I found, interestingly enough, I found people that didn’t even realize I had children. (22:42) I’m like, oh my God, have I done such a bad job that they only know that I’m just this professional person?

(22:48) They have no idea who I am personally. (22:51) And so it’s so spot on and so true. (22:53) Now, you’ve been deeply involved in transformational change, 40 mergers and acquisitions.

(23:04) What have you learned about the intersection of strategy and culture and how leaders can co-create outcomes that actually last?

Victoria

(23:15) What I’ve seen where a lot of these M&A divestiture, these types of transactions fail to achieve the full value or the outcomes that we’re committed to in terms of the value or business case for this is a few things. (23:32) But the biggest challenge of all is not focusing on the people and cultural aspect of that and effective change management. (23:42) And so they think, oh, there’s going to be all of these synergies by bringing these companies together.

(23:48) We’re going to be able to reduce X number of headcount, but not recognizing the value of everything from institutional knowledge that exists, the relation, going back to relationships, the relationships that exist with the clients or customers that they serve. (24:06) And there might be a longer period of time before some of those synergies can take place to the very different company cultures. (24:16) You know, I worked for IBM when they acquired Red Hat, who had such a strong culture.

(24:23) So actually, their decision was to almost let them on their own so as not to break the Red Hat culture coming into big blue. (24:31) So that was smart. (24:33) But I see too many companies fail on those aspects and also underestimating the power of change, change management, the change champions.

(24:44) And then lastly, I’ll say, as you talk about strategy is who’s held accountable to those business outcomes. (24:52) I see strong project management offices and maybe they call it a transformation office, but I think it’s small T transformation, not big T transformation that leads it. (25:04) And the level in there that needs to look at calling out risk, measuring the outcomes and holding people accountable to that original business case is missing.

(25:17) So more and more, in fact, even in the business unit that I lead for the company I’m at now, I lead for our clients a value realization office so that we can help them, those leaders, be held accountable to the transformational outcomes through, in this case, I work for a technology company, through the technology and that transformation. (25:38) So big T transformation, holding accountable to value and outcomes, and then a real focus on the people, culture, and change management to be successful.

Melissa

(25:51) Yeah. (25:52) So what do you think the fastest way for leaders to destroy culture during M&A or transformation? (26:02) What’s the fastest way they do it unintentionally, maybe?

Victoria

(26:07) I think the decision for these M&A transactions are made at the very top of the organization and they delegate or outsource the integration activities to others in the organization or outside consultants sometimes too. (26:30) And I speak out of both sides of my mouth as a consultant as well, but there’s a level of engagement that must remain at that level. (26:38) And there becomes a lack of transparency in what this means.

(26:43) And so I am an incredibly transparent leader. (26:49) Recognize that sometimes you can’t say everything to all employees. (26:52) You’re under a non-disclosure agreement still, or the decisions haven’t been made, but state that to your employees.

(27:01) Trust gets broken in the small communications, right? (27:07) So I think now I’m having conversations in the era of agentic AI, everyone’s roles are going to be impacted, or most, I should say. (27:18) There’s only a handful of roles, I think, that are not necessarily or not to the same extent, but we’re afraid to have conversations around what this is going to mean.

(27:26) And so that’s how I think these kinds of transformation, whether it’s M&A, it’s some kind of business or digital transformation go wrong, where we delegate the communication of it, the very significant decisions to others in the organization or external parties, and we don’t have a level of transparency.

Melissa

(27:51) Yeah, and I think when we don’t communicate, people make things up in their mind. (27:56) It may or may not be true. (27:57) And so I’ve been part of several M&A transactions and a couple of them, some of the best leaders left because they were in senior roles and they were unclear if their role was disappearing, so they went and found another job.

(28:12) And I often wonder, had we not just communicated with them and got their feedback, would they have stayed at the company? (28:19) And so kind of exactly what you were saying, truth being truthful, communicating something, communicating nothing is a choice as well. (28:27) And if you don’t, employees make up their own decision or they’ll start looking elsewhere.

(28:32) So and then just being empathetic, I think, too, right, empathetic to change and how hard it is for some people. (28:39) And when we lead with empathy, I think people are more flexible than not.

Victoria

(28:49) Agree, agree. (28:50) I call it the whole human leadership. (28:53) And that is that the big aspect around being transparent, around, as you said, being empathetic.

(28:59) I mean, we can’t check our entire lives at the door of our virtual or physical workplaces.

Melissa

(29:08) 100%, right. (29:10) Now, you’ve also been recognized globally as a leader, as a top LGBTQ leader. (29:17) How has owning your own identity shaped your leadership style?

(29:23) And how can you teach organizations to really lead from that place?

Victoria

(29:29) Yeah, so I came out as bisexual at 14. (29:33) I was married for 11 years to a woman, and I gave birth to my two children while in my marriage to my wife. (29:40) Unfortunately, she passed away, and I’m now married to a man.

(29:42) But I still very proudly identify myself as queer, although my youngest one says I should say pansexual. (29:49) Whatever the label is, I’m not straight. (29:51) And so I’ve owned that as my identity.

(29:54) I’m going to say I’ve never hidden that. (29:57) I’ve been cautious at times, and when I first meet new clients or whatnot, to be how bold I am. (30:02) But if you Google me, it’s all out there.

(30:04) You’re not going to be surprised by it. (30:06) And so that’s a big part of who I am and my brand is around authentically owning who Victoria is. (30:15) What are my values?

(30:17) What do I stand for? (30:18) And so that’s not just by being vocal and by talking about who I am, whom I’ve chosen to love. (30:25) By the way, one of my two sons is trans as well.

(30:28) So it’s around me consistently. (30:31) But it’s also around how I show up. (30:33) And as an executive, with that level in the organization, with the power, as they say, there’s privilege.

(30:40) But with that, I need to do something with it. (30:43) So that, for me, has been being the executive sponsor for our Pride LGBTQ employee resource groups or business resource groups. (30:55) I often do the same for women.

(30:58) Publicly, when I worked for IBM, it was around the time where the US Supreme Court had a law that allowed same-sex marriages. (31:04) So I wrote on behalf. (31:05) They’d asked me for IBM to write on behalf of what that meant.

(31:09) So I’m very publicly out there. (31:12) I also try and promote all kinds of diversity. (31:16) I strongly believe that diversity of all forms make for great workplaces and communities.

(31:24) And so I can proudly say, even when I look at my own team at the organization I work for now, I think I lead one of the most diverse teams across our organization, as I have for years. (31:37) So that is how I demonstrate the importance of diversity, my own lived experience, and how I can support others.

Melissa

(31:46) I love that. (31:47) I think there’s so much in that. (31:50) When we are working with the same kind of person, there’s not anyone to kind of punch holes in things.

(31:57) When you have a diverse group of people, there’s different ideas, different strategies, technical, non-technical people, people that live in other countries. (32:05) And so it’s such a blessing to show up at work and personally when you have somebody framing things in a way that you never thought of. (32:14) And I often find I love those conversations in my professional and personal life.

(32:20) So talk to me a little bit about what true inclusion looks like when nobody’s watching.

Victoria

(32:28) Yeah, for me, I like at some point a number of years ago, they started adding a B to the DEI, diversity, equity, inclusion, belonging. (32:38) And so that’s what I strive for. (32:41) I want to personally feel like I belong.

(32:45) And so I want to create that kind of environment. (32:49) And it means, much like I said, trust can be gained or broken in some of the smallest ways. (32:55) And so for me, how I show up, it’s even to recruiting teams who don’t bring me a diverse slate of candidates to choosing to hire someone that maybe doesn’t have all of the criteria I would ideally want, but they have a strong propensity to learn and they bring a diversity of thought and experience that’s going to challenge the thinking of the team.

(33:26) And then it becomes incumbent upon me as their leader to help bridge the gap. (33:31) So if they only came in with, let’s say, seven out of the 10 skills I was looking for, what do I do to get the other three? (33:37) How do I personally do that?

(33:39) How do I navigate them within our organization to gain the right kind of education or experience to develop that? (33:47) And it’s also around things like letting those who… (33:52) I’m an extrovert.

(33:53) Shocking, I know. (33:55) But in a room, how do you give voice to those who don’t have the level of confidence or extroversion that I have? (34:05) How do you make space?

(34:07) How do you listen? (34:09) How do you introduce others into the conversation? (34:11) Those are small ways to make inclusion, belonging a common way of operating.

Melissa

(34:19) I love that. (34:20) It’s so true. (34:21) And often when you’re always looked to lead, it’s kind of a blind spot I found for me until somebody said something to me.

(34:27) I think I was in leadership very young, just like you, and I just kept leading until someone said, we haven’t heard from Johnny. (34:36) And then it finally occurred to me that I wasn’t doing such a great job in my 20s doing that. (34:42) And so it’s so true, giving others the opportunity to lead and to voice their thoughts and give them the…

(34:49) Creating that psychological safety for them to even want to say something or to even want to speak out is really key and a sign I always felt like it’s a sign that you’re a really good leader when people feel safe to speak up and give their feedback. (35:04) And I’m curious to get your perspective on the cost of hiding parts of yourself at work or in organizations or to your friends. (35:18) Is there a cost that happens when you hide yourself?

Victoria

(35:22) I think there is. (35:24) Speaking from personal experience, I said my early way of being resilient was to not talk about what had happened. (35:33) I feared that people would look at me different.

(35:36) They would see someone who was weaker. (35:39) So what I didn’t share, I’m born to a drug addicted teenage mother who beat me severely as a child. (35:44) I was in and out of the child welfare system.

(35:47) I was fortunate to be adopted out of that into a lower socioeconomic family. (35:51) Part of the reason I started working at 11. (35:54) I didn’t want to tell those stories.

(35:57) I was embarrassed by them. (35:59) And it wasn’t until I started sharing that story. (36:05) One, people understood me.

(36:06) Why was I so driven? (36:08) Well, it’s because I was determined to be better than my biology or the circumstance. (36:12) But it was difficult for people to understand just how driven I was and why until I started telling those stories.

(36:20) And so then it was just a level of understanding. (36:22) They saw this emotional being who I never allowed her to come out to. (36:30) Although I said I didn’t hide my sexuality, I made decisions in terms of I played the pronoun game.

(36:39) Oh, my other half, whatever, rather than my wife, she and I did this. (36:45) And it was, again, because I wasn’t sure how are they going to feel or respond. (36:51) And although I never technically lied about any of that, there was some hiding and I didn’t like that game playing.

(36:58) So this is what I learned is just to be my authentic self. (37:03) I own who I am and how I got here. (37:08) And if people choose they don’t agree with my lifestyle or my choices, that’s fine.

(37:14) One, we can agree to disagree. (37:16) We can still be friends and colleagues or clients in that environment, unless that’s my standpoint. (37:24) There’s some who’ve made a choice, not.

(37:26) They don’t know. (37:26) And that’s fine. (37:28) Then I’d rather not do business with someone who can’t support the whole person that I am, much like I would support the whole person that they are.

Melissa

(37:35) I love that. (37:36) And first of all, thank you for sharing that. (37:39) And it’s such an interesting place to be when you feel like you’re always being.

(37:44) It’s so much easier just to be who you are and what you feel than it is to put on these layers and masks and armor. (37:51) And I find the more that we armor up, the less we know who we really are. (37:55) And like what you were saying at the beginning, when you know who you are, you understand your values.

(37:59) You’re able to show up and be and draw in more of what you are and what you want for your life. (38:07) And so it’s so, so true. (38:09) Now, what gives you hope about the future of leadership culture?

Victoria

(38:18) You know, I’m at a point where I feel like we’ve gone backwards a little bit over the last number of years, which saddens me. (38:26) The hope comes, however, Melissa, in that there’s still a lot of conversation. (38:34) Interestingly, because of technology, I’m finding there’s more a focus on the people and the culture and building trust, much more so than I’ve seen in the past.

(38:48) You know, the command and control ways of leading, you know, being taken over by those who operate more, you know, from that whole human leader perspective in which I choose to lead. (39:00) So I’m seeing more conversation around that. (39:02) It’s not there, but it gives me hope that there’s more dialogue than I’ve seen in a while, even though I think we’ve gone backwards around things like diversity, for example, in the workplace.

Melissa

(39:16) Yeah, I love that. (39:17) Okay, I want to finish with my favorite part of the podcast is just doing rapid fire questions to get your nuggets of wisdom to share with our listeners. (39:29) Okay, so one belief you had to unlearn to reach your next level of leadership.

Victoria

(39:37) Oh, I’ve shared it. (39:38) So that level of authenticity and showing up authentically who I am, sharing those stories, that made a huge difference for me in leadership.

Melissa

(39:47) I love that. (39:48) What’s the hardest leadership lesson you’ve ever had to make?

Victoria

(39:55) I, my A-type personality, the perfectionist quality who needed to hold on to everything at some point, not sustainable, nor was I demonstrating trust in my team. (40:07) So learning to let go, learning that 80% sometimes is fine, and that I needed to say no, delegate, and outsource, and particularly to my teams to demonstrate trust in their leadership capabilities.

Melissa

(40:23) What’s one truth that executive success people don’t often want to hear about? (40:31) What’s the most difficult part of executive success?

Victoria

(40:38) Oh, that’s hard. (40:43) I think for many executives, I believe they think that there is a trade-off for a focus on culture and people in achieving the financial or business results. (40:59) And so they’re hyper-focused on, again, purely business metrics versus the people and culture aspects that ultimately drive those financial metrics.

(41:13) I’ve seen far too many execs who separate them rather than seeing how intrinsically connected they are, and they lose sight of some of the empathetic people components of their business.

Melissa

(41:26) I love that. (41:26) What’s one habit you protect at all costs, no matter what, no matter how busy you get or what’s going on in your life?

Victoria

(41:34) Working out. (41:35) I work out six days a week. (41:37) I block my calendar.

(41:37) I’m a morning workout girl, so I block my calendar in the morning. (41:40) By exception only do I take calls before I’m fully showered after my gym workout.

Melissa

(41:47) I love that. (41:49) Ditto. (41:50) What’s one question you wish leaders asked themselves before taking executive roles or power roles?

Victoria

(42:02) Cool. (42:05) I don’t think enough understand how hard it is to be in that role, and are they ready for all that it entails, whether that is the work hours that we work, the people challenges, the multiple—I talked about metrics that we’re held accountable to and how we must stretch and go broadly. (42:34) I think before you get into the ivory tower, so to speak, the corner office, I don’t think many people understand how difficult it is and the demands that come with those roles.

Melissa

(42:50) What’s the cost of staying silent that nobody talks about?

Victoria

(43:00) Although I didn’t love the phrase that grabbed a lot of headlines post-COVID, this whole quiet quitting phenomenon, but that’s the cost. (43:11) It’s a cost to employees in terms of those who would trip voluntarily to incredibly poor productivity. (43:22) The toxic top performers that are allowed to stay and sitting silent and allowing them to remain, that has massive implications for the business and, sadly, a pretty significant impact on the people.

Melissa

(43:36) I love that. (43:37) One leadership challenge that still challenges you today.

Victoria

(43:48) I’m challenged by the fact—and it is my choice. (43:52) I said earlier I’m not good at taking my own. (43:54) I tell my team, do as I say, not as I do.

(43:56) I choose not to disconnect, for example, almost ever. (44:01) I don’t want to go on vacation. (44:02) I don’t want to come back to a thousand emails, so I might not be on conference calls, but I’m on emails to clear things up.

(44:08) I know that doesn’t set a great example, but it’s the way I’ve been able to do all that I do, and I wish I was better at a little bit more of the boundaries. (44:22) I love that.

Melissa

(44:24) Final question. (44:25) What does power mean to you today?

Victoria

(44:30) It’s very different than when I was younger. (44:35) Power, for me, means I have a platform, a platform to speak up, a platform to lead, to bring others along with me versus the 20-something-year-old version of Victoria that power was hierarchy, more money, things like that. (44:53) Those are important.

(44:56) My mom used to say money doesn’t buy happiness, but it makes one hell of a down payment. (44:59) That view of success that came with power is very, very different than it is now.

Melissa

(45:08) I love it. (45:09) Thank you so much for being here and sharing your authentic self and knowledge with our listeners. (45:15) What is the best way for our listeners to connect with you and learn more about the good work you’re doing?

Victoria

(45:22) One-stop shop would be my website, which is victoria-peltier.com. (45:26) I’m sure you’ll have that in the show notes. (45:28) They don’t need to figure out the spelling.

(45:30) From there, they can click to link out and follow me, whether it’s on LinkedIn or Instagram or Facebook or whatever.

Melissa

(45:37) Fantastic. (45:39) Thank you so much for being here, Victoria. (45:41) That’s the Executive Connect podcast.